Complicated Connections

Opening

I felt my spine shiver as she slowly ran her delicate fingers through my hair. Her soft lips moved along mine fitting perfectly together. I was gently leaning over her, holding her face in the palms of my hands while her elegant legs loosely wrapped around my waist. I felt like I was gonna go crazy. My heart was racing hard and so was my mind on what to do next. Ignoring my other feelings I slowly pulled away, eyes still closed. I was still terrified to see her response. I lowered my head, now leaning it lightly against one of her hesitant shoulders. "Well?" I muttered. "How do you feel?" This time it was barely a whisper and I heard her breathing hitch.
We stayed in this position for a while, not moving nor talking. For some people this must have been comforting but definitely not for me. I was thinking of all of the responses that I can muster to make this less awkward because if i were to receive a turn down I honestly don't think that i'd be ready for it.
"N-Nova?" Aster faltered. I was shocked to hear even the least of her voice making me jump. "Yes?" I hesitated. My eyes opened slowly viewing her face for anything negative. I was confused to see her face and the expressions that she was making. Her face was as flush as a rose while her brows furrowed. Though I couldn't exactly see her mouth because she covered it with her fisted hand, I could at least predict she was quite upset with such an expression.
While I glanced upon her, I could see her poor muscles twitch from the tensity that kept her in place. I focused on her better, quickly examining the rest of her noting things she didn't do before this. Why was she so focused on not moving?
"A-Aster are you alright?" I asked nervously. "Did I do something wrong?" I was checking her again scared out of my mind that I hurt her. "Nova..." She whispered quietly. I looked back at her, viewing her face and her beautiful bold amber eyes. She looked scared with her pupils so dilated. "I-I didn't," she stared at me, mustering everything she thought of. "I didn't feel anything." Her voice was barely above a whisper but it sounded like screaming in my ears, so agonizing I could barely think. "R-Really?" I whispered back. If I were to speak any louder I think I'd break.
"R-really..." She spoke a bit louder now, something I didn't have the courage to do. Instead of talking or at all making any noise out of my mouth I just slowly backed away, sitting on the undone bed, thinking of absent-minded things trying to get it less awkward.
Her face was facing the right wall, the opposite of where I sat. Was she that upset about it? Although it really did make sense. Who would've thought their friend would suddenly propose such a thing. And she did really help me. I'm glad she's my friend in the first place.
I felt something come down my left cheek leaving a streak of unwanted feelings. Was I really gonna cry in front of her right now? I mean, what else could go wrong? I sighed from holding my breath in for too long which sounded very shaky. I could see at the edge of my eye that she cringed as a response. I despise myself for all of the things I've done to her. She really didn't deserve it.

-This is an old story, it's discontinued but i thought it'd be funny for people to read it even though i find it immensely cringe. Love, guzzlertaken