i'm here.. (quackityxmalereader)

ch. 7 fever dream

     tw: heavy physical and verbal abuse; blood (summary at the end)

     After leaving the theater, i shortly opened the door to an empty and silent house. Mom and dad said they'd be out tonight, leaving me with the cat i occasionally forget i own. I walk into the kitchen, turning on the house lights along the way, and see an empty food bowl with the words "meow" scribbled in marker over it. I grab the bowl and search the kitchen and living room for the miniature tiger that wanders through her jungle of couch cushions and carpet and find her licking herself on the table. I smile and take her bowl to her bag of food to scoop enough for her dinner.

     Before returning her bowl to the floor, i make a playful "pspsps" and bowl shake to her wide-eyed excitement. She climbs down the kitchen table and curls around my leg purring. As i set her food down, i decide to sit next to her and rub her back while she eats, if i didn't she would stare blankly into the bowl and starve herself the entire night, a habit that stuck since she was a kitten. We got her when i was 8, a few years after the divorce. I remember my mom telling me to name her anything i wanted since she was my cat. I spent a few minutes thinking and decided on Two, named after her different colored eyes. I waited for Two to finish her meal and made my way upstairs to my room.

     As i stepped into my room, i questioned whether or not i should go take a shower. The night surprisingly took a lot out of me and made me almost pass out as i drove home. I decided ignoring hygiene would be terrible, not knowing if i showered yesterday. I grabbed my nightclothes out of my dresser and headed to the bathroom.

     I stepped into the shower and felt the warmth of the water against my chest, feeling myself grow even more tired with the comfort. I began my routine and let my mind wander over the event of the passing days. To think this all started with a therapy appointment. Therapy. I still have to see her again, talk to her again... What did she even want from me..? Help me..? I don't need help. I don't think so. I swear im fine i don't need any precautions or care im fine how i am. there's nothing wrong with me is there? am i just a complete fuck up? why did anything have to happen to me? i never wanted this... I soon found myself crying on the shower floor with the now cold water hitting my back. I forced myself to stop where i was and step out of the shower.

     I headed to my room where i planted myself on my bed, slowly making my way under the sheets. I felt the change from cold to warm and felt myself begin to drift away from consciousness.

     I began seeing the daylight pour in through my curtains and rose from my bed. Something didn't feel right... This isn't my house. Er, it is my house but not the one i live in. This is my childhood home, and im a child again, 8 or so. I stepped out of my room and heard my mom arguing with someone in the kitchen. As i walked closer, i saw her yelling back and forth with my father. They kept saying something about me not being ready. My dad turned his head to me and began walking toward me angrily. "Why are you down here?" I began stepping back hastily and stumbled causing me to fall on my back. My dad grabbed my t-shirt by the collar and raised me to his height. "I asked you a question!" he yelled. "Stop you're hurting him!" my mother pleaded. "Stay out of this bitch!" he shouted back. He took a moment to stare furiously into my eyes and shook me by my stretched collar, barking threats and accusations into my ears. "Please Angel stop, he's just a little kid!" my mother continued begging. "Why don't you ever shut the fuck up!" my dad bellowed as he threw me to the ground and began towards my mother. As i felt my tears hit the ground, i could hear the pained screams of my mother grow stronger with each blow from the man i once knew as my father.

     I felt the dream shift me from the stiff wood floor to my tear-stained mattress. I could feel my body curl into a ball as i held onto my pillows like they were my lifeline. I suddenly heard a knock on my door followed by its slow opening. I began peeking my head out of my covers to be blinded by the outside light containing the silhouette of my father. "Hey, buddy," he said quietly as he stepped inside my room. He sat next to my coiled body and placed his hand on my leg. "You know i didn't mean to hurt you or your mom, i love you both with all my heart." He shifted his body towards me and helped me sit upright. He wrapped me in his arms and held me as tight as he could. "I promise i will never hurt you or your mom ever again, i swear," he apologized. I sobbed into his arms for a few moments before speaking. "It's just... you were really mean to me and mommy and hurt us," i said into his chest. "Well that's just how you are, isn't it..? Always making everything about you..." I felt my body freeze in place as those words left his mouth. "It's always y/n this, y/n that, what about daddy huh? Why doesn't daddy get to do anything?" he shouted. I broke away from his grasp and pushed myself away from him in fear. "D-daddy?" i asked cautiously. "Don't you daddy me boy, you made my life this way!"

     The man grabbed my wrists in a single hand and slapped me with the other. He grabbed my throat and held me against the wall before thrusting his fist into my stomach. I began coughing up blood as he tossed me to the floor and kicked into my side. With every new hit i felt, the joy inside me diminished, every ounce of hope in my heart drained leaving not even despair. The man eventually grabbed me by the neck once again only to deliver a final blow to my eye.

     Suddenly, i sat up in my bed sweaty and out of breath. I didn't even feel the flood of tears running down my face whenever my mother and step-father held me in their arms. I never wanted to think about that again, i never want to think about him again. I just want it all to go away.

     Summary: when y/n was 8, his father abused him and his mother for reasons not yet shown. this recollection came to him in a "fever dream" which he was woken up from by his mother and step-father.

note: sorry for taking so long and it not even being 2000 words (i set myself up for defeat this couldn't have been 2000 words long). from now on ill try making the chapters longer and more descriptive to pan out the story. also..... QUACKITY BIRTHDAY!!!!! im so happy him! he makes me feel amazing seeing him happy. honestly, he's one of my biggest inspirations right now and is helping give me the drive i need to keep going. i know he won't see this but shouting into the universe never hurt anyone so i love u Quackity, platonically or anything else :]

timestamp. 12/29/2020 5:01 am