You Make It Hard To Say Goodbye | H.JS

Forget-Me-Not

You make it hard to say goodbye

I die a little every time

I find it impossible to leave you with that look in your eyes

Oh, you make it hard to say goodbye

Joshua could only stare at y/n's sleeping face as the other made light, almost non-audible snores that sounded like heaven on the male's ears. The orange glow coming from the sunlight only added more warm ambiance and he couldn't help but to think how much it fits her. Cozy, just like how home is supposed to feel.

The thought was soon followed with pain, like it was really meant to hurt him.

Because he knew, he had to leave that home later on.

Little tiny Aphrodite

I don't wanna wake you up

When you smile in your sleep I wonder what you're dreaming of

You got that temporary cherry blossom potion on your lips

I wanna swallow up your ocean but I only got a sip

And there's an Uber on the way because my flight is in an hour

I still gotta pack a bag and brush my teeth and take a shower

So I take a mental picture 'cause I know I'm gonna need it

The hardest part of loving you is leaving

Sighing, he got up to his feet and checked the remaining time. One hour. There's only an hour left 'til he walks out of the door, leaving everything behind. Including her. Suddenly, he wishes he had the ability to control the time. Because a single hour would never be enough to tell her everything he wanted to.

He looked back to the sleeping beauty, snuggled on the soft and bouncy mattress, enveloped with a white comforter and a smile on her pink lips, to top it all.

It was nearly flawless. Nearly. Everything seemed perfect and right except for the empty space right next to her. Where he should be, cuddling the other and not standing on the side of the bed, just watching. Like what he was doing right now.

He would stare at her forever. But he couldn't. The time is ticking, and nothing would change that. So, instead, with a small, almost bittersweet smile, he pictured the exact moment in his mind, very much knowing that it would turn to a memory minutes later.

I don't want to

But I have to

I already feel so lonely

I don't want to

But I have to

I gotta let you go

You make it hard to say goodbye, yeah

I die a little every time

I find it impossible to leave you with that look in your eyes

Oh, you make it hard to say goodbye

All the time Joshua spent preparing for his departure was like torture to him. He kept on pondering about staying or leaving, although he already knew what is going to be his decision in the end.

Staying only meant more pain for the both of them. He had to let her go.

Supermodel Dalai Lama, you're the lover from above

You're that lightning in a bottle I can't ever get enough

It's like my hand is on the throttle but my heart is on the clutch

Wishing I could be two places at once

So if I leave my heart

Beside the bed

Would you promise me

You won't forget me

Don't forget me

Don't forget

Joshua heaved a heavy sigh as he took one last glance on the girl still sleeping peacefully on their shared bed, he memorized every single inch of her features - from the long lashes that is sticking out from her eyes to her plump lips. Leaning in, he pressed a soft, butterfly-like kiss on her forehead, even putting aside the stray strands of her hair that landed on her face before walking out of the room. Out of the house. Out of her life.

I don't want to

But I have to

I already feel so lonely

I don't want to

But I have to

I gotta let you go

The moment y/n heard the shut of the door, her eyes automatically flucked open. She had been faking her slumber the whole time. She had been pretending not to know about him leaving. She had been turning a blind eye to everything.

And there, beside her, lay a bouquet of forget-me-not's, wrapped nicely on the space that was supposed to be his.

The space that used to have warmth hugging and loving eyes watching her the minute she woke up, now only has a cold plain bouquet of flowers in it.

Oh, how cruel he was, assuming that she could live without hearing his hearty laughs and melodic voice.

How do you expect her to have pancakes every morning with a ghost, go on dates every Saturday with a memory and hold hands with a thought?

You make it hard to say goodbye, yeah

I die a little every time

I find it impossible to leave you with that look in your eyes

Oh, you make it hard

You make it hard

You make it hard to say goodbye.

She sat up, the tears on her cheeks just dried on their own for there is no one to wipe them away for her anymore.

Slowly, she reached for the flowers he left for her and caressed its petals on her fingers.

His love for her surely made it hard for him to bid goodbye.

But was never enough to make him stay.