Surgeon Girl

All is ready as the white doors arch into the room, emitting light past the darkened figure. You wait patiently for the nurse to reach your side, the last of the three. Masks go up, covering nose and mouth. It's bound to get stuffy shortly, but it's the least of your worries. "Doctor, we're ready."
You nod in response to one of the nurses, gripping the edge of the sheet covered table. You've done this procedure over a hundred times, but today feels like the first time. The weight of a life is so heavy on your shoulders, threatening to compress you into nothing more than a stain on the concrete floor. A nurse lifts the sheet off the patient, laying unconscious upon the steel table. She is young, no older than fifteen with brown hair that spills over the tables edge. You take a moment to examine her closed eyes, lashes long and dark, and the way her lips stay slightly parted; deep breaths passed them slowly, unaware of her surroundings. Those lips, the same ones that had curled up into so many beautiful smiles. A nurse touches your arm in silence, pulling you out of your reverie. With attention once again focused, you start the procedure. The tension builds, threatening to leak into the masks like poison.
"Scalpel." The nurse across the table hands you the small tool, sharp and glinting in the light. Your hands nearly shake, until you reassure yourself you can do this in your sleep. The tip of the blade pierces her skin, and you imagine cutting the cake at her tenth birthday. She smiles at you, refusing to tell you her birthday wish. So full of life at the time. You blink and it's gone, instead you're looking at her stomach. The nurses set to work, each doing what they were brought to do. They move so fast to you, as if still training on some cotton stuffed dummy instead of a living human. You know that could be you, so clear minded and quick at your job, but you just can't. Every time you look at her, it's something different. Her first time riding a bike, learning to walk, her first heartbreak. Then they're gone in the moment it takes to blink. You wish you didn't have to blink, just so you don't have to return to this moment. Yet, you persevere. You manage to get through the procedure, eyes dry and voice clear. It has taken you five hours, an average time for the surgery. All you could do was wait.
"Sir? If you would just step this way please," says a nurse. You follow her obediently, trying to figure out what her tone meant. It has been days since the surgery and you weren't allowed to check in on the girl, instead all your news comes from the nurses that take care of her. She takes you into an empty room, not making eye contact. You start to feel a knot, perpetrating your stomach and rolling into your throat.
"Claire, how is she?" you ask, anxiety rolling off you. The air becomes suffocating, a ring tightening around the knot to make breathing difficult. She has stayed so silent, staring blankly at the clipboard in her hands. You don't know what could be worse. The deafening silence or a straight out answer. "Claire... please..."
She turns away, eyes downcast. Her petite voice reaches your mind, but it doesn't seem like you hear her. "I'm sorry...She passed on. You will be going home alone." The world seems to spin, the sky opening to a rain of memories. Every moment you had been there by her side, taking care of her and protecting her from harm. You're barely conscious of Claire leading you down the hall to a new room. The sunlight bathes the room in golden light, as if an angel is smiling down upon the white skinned girl. Her hair creates a dark halo upon her pillow, chest still. You walk to her bedside, tenderly brushing her cold cheek with one calloused hand. Never again would she be late for dinner because she didn't hear you over her singing. And no longer would she pester you over letting her spend time at her best friends house. All those precious moments you took for granted, gone. "I'm sorry I couldn't do better for you. If only I had let someone else go through the surgery..."
Your eyes burn as tears make an unwelcome track down your cheeks. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry! I'll always remember you, there will never be another like you! My beautiful, beautiful daughter..."

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Word Count: 775 Words