Downward Spiral (Izuocha)

Chapter 32 Giving in

Third person P.O.V.

It was Tuesday morning, and various students were awakening after a good night's sleep, except for two of them, but for similar yet different reasons. Izuku Midoriya had woken up nearly 4 times before his alarm clock forced him to stay awake at six in the morning, due to him constantly seeing either his supposed friends betraying him and the death of Sir Nighteye, the moment he got impaled, constantly played in his mind, slowly believing more in that statement of his about Mirio Togata getting One For All when they first met. Ochako Uraraka on the other hand could not stop worrying about Deku, and therefore had stayed awake until much later than she intended, only being able to fall asleep once she truly felt mentally and physically exhausted. She knew Deku had heard him the afternoon before but she never knew what was going on the other side of his door except for the fact that it was covered head to toes with All Might merch. Her mind had wondered to how he was coping with his anxiety and how bad was it truly, going from simple runs and exercises that could distract him to the rather extreme end of self harm. She wanted to believe that it was only his very early exercises that he was implementing.

Iida and Yaoyorozu had already left to be at 1-A before anyone arrived, while some others were having breakfast or lounging around while the more disorganized students rushed to get ready for school. Izuku had tried to avoid almost everyone, but could feel the analyzing and judgemental gaze from some of his classmates, as if they were studying him and he could not oppose to it. He wasn't going to yell at them nor try and fight them, mostly because he was still too tired and he was sure that if he tried to punch someone, his arm would feel like it was being incinerated as some cuts may open and release his crimson blood onto his uniform. And also, he just didn't have it in him to hurt someone that could not be denominated as an enemy or villain. Uraraka was the one that was staring the most intensely, slowly noting the small details, trying to come up with conclusions as to what exactly was going on. She saw him grab a small cereal bar from the kitchen, eat it, then head back to his dorm, and after a few minutes coming back and heading for the door while adjusting something and massaging his left forearm.

Throughout class, the ones that studied him the most were Yaoyorozu and Todoroki, as they sat in the back and could see his body posture while still try and pay attention to class most of the time. They both noted how he held his head with his right hand, how when he was asked something, he'd take a second to process what he heard and always answered correctly despite his tired demeanor, and how his left blazer sleeve looked like it was stained with something, near the elbow and forearm area. However, Izuku had noticed this too, and was cursing himself for forgetting to go get more bandages and passing out due to exhaustion and possibly blood loss only to be awakened by dreaming of Bakugo's words and him deciding to commit to them. He knew that for lunch break he would go to recovery girl's office for bandages and explain its for his arms and joints to not strain them, but he knew he was also going to be confronted by some of his classmates by the end of the school day, were he had to make one of his biggest decisions.

Izuku P.O.V.

'Should I give in? Should I let them help me, or should I give in to finally saying goodbye and erasing a trouble from the world?' This was the mental debate as I headed towards recovery girl's office, having left as quickly as possible, knowing that one of them would try to stop me. They are smart, but they also just don't understand. I already gave in to not standing back up again. I was beaten down so many times and there is only so much one can take before finally making the decision to give in to your darkest thoughts. But was it really worth it? That is a question for another day, as I knocked on the door and was greeted by a small elderly woman with a bit of a questioning look. "What did you break today?" her remark would almost make me chuckle, considering that it was her who told me that would not heal me if I broke my bones once more. "N-no recovery girl, I just need some bandages and gauze for my arms and joints so that the cuts don't oppen and I don't strain myself." Although she gave me a questioning look, she sighed and gave me what I needed with somewhat a smile as she believed I was taking care of myself.

The day had ended and I was on the pathway towards the dorms when suddenly, Asui was in front of me while Todoroki behind, having slightly frozen my left foot in case I tried to run, and, to be honest, I did not have the energy nor strength to do so. Uraraka had also appeared to my left, but it seems that only them had showed up. "Can we go to the dorms and maybe talk there please?" I asked, knowing that this was the best deal I would get, considering that I would not tell them about my past and refuse as much as possible as if I told them, they would be satisfied and leave me behind like everyone did when I was quirkless. I did not want my nightmares to become a reality, as I already knew what getting beaten for being different is like. They never directly responded, but Uraraka touched my chest while looking at me with pleading eyes that made my heart shatter, knowing it was my fault she looked like that. Todoroki unfroze me and Asui used her tongue to carry me to the dorms and not letting me float into space. When they set me down on the dorm sofa, I looked at them questioningly and Todoroki seemed to understand, as he was the first to speak up. "We wait for the rest."

Heyo. That's the second upload, hope you enjoyed it. I know it's kind of a cliffhanger, but this is going to be continued tomorrow so don't worry. I am really enjoying on progressing with this story and getting close to finishing it, as the journey Izuku is having is emotionally tiring to write but relatable to someone that had to go through similar experiences and having such supportive friends. Remember that everyone is amazing and has incredible potential and my DMs are always open for emotional talk or questions in general. Anyways, once again, I hope you had or have the best day you possibly can and I'll be back tomorrow.