She's lost In A Sea Of Poetry

Sorry, not sorry

I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I'm sorry for leaving shards of glass and terror in my wake.  I'm sorry for leaving you out in the cold. For you calling me over and over,only to not get an answer from me.  I'm sorry.  Oh look what I've done, I've got blood stains on my hands and your heart lies in a case. I tore it out of your chest. I never meant to do that. I never meant to leave you alone. Never meant to break your heart. Never meant to tear you apart. I might've loved you but not enough to stay. I hope you find that for yourself one day. What do you do when you know something is wrong? What do you do when somone wants you so much but you don't want them the same way? I felt like I couldn't stay. It wasn't really where I wanted to be or belonged. I might've loved you but not as much as you loved me, and I'm really sorry for that. I hope you find someone who won't walk away like me. I blocked your number and ignored your calls till you stopped calling and I'm sorry. Oh, let me go. I don't know what I'm doing. I only broke your heart. I'm a fool. A confused,sad,brokenhearted fool. Oh I went with the safer option, I went with the guy who I see everyday at work, who doesn't live 5 states away. I went for the guy who makes me laugh, I'm sorry that's not you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for breaking your heart. But I'm not sorry for choosing the one who makes me laugh. I'm not sorry for choosing the one who doesn't belittle me. I'm not sorry for choosing the one who doesn't always make me want to cry. Oh I'm sorry for hurting you but I'm not sorry for walking away. It was the right thing, and sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. Oh we had passion,we had chemistry. There were flames. But that isn't enough to stay. And maybe I could've tried to talk to you,could've told you how I felt,but you never let me get a word in. You were smarter,you were wiser, you were older, right? You knew better. I was in the wrong, you were in the right. You were, you are emotionally and mentally abusive and manipulative. Yes, I have flaws, I'm not perfect, no one is. But you always called me out on mine, like you were better, like you were perfect. You made me feel like I needed fixing or saving, well I don't, and even if I did it's not your place. It was never your place. You'll forever see me as that girl you had an online fling with. An immature, little girl who knows nothing. I'll never go for meeting someone online again. We were doomed to begin. I knew we were but you never saw the signs..It was just a fling. Oh love is such a complicated thing. He was convinced he was in love with me, my dear there was only ever lust here.