Most Lovely Words

Chapter 8: You Left My Side

"You have to promise me that you'll keep fighting. Even after I'm gone, keep living. Find something, anything, to give you a reason to live. You have every day to find something new, to create something. Make your life mean as much to you as it does to me. You have to do that for me." Bry's voice haunted me. Some of the most precious things he'd ever said repeated endlessly. Every second passing made me grow number and colder. But, his voice filled me. It replayed in my head over and over again. You can't be gone. This can't be real.

"Kallie," Someone spoke, but I could barely hear them. "Kallie!"

"No..." I breathed out in a hoarse whisper. I was choking on air, finding it harder and harder to breathe. "No..."

"He's gone, honey... he's... he's in a better place." Caroline Taylor spoke as if she didn't even believe what she was saying. Maybe she didn't.

Her hand was shaking as she placed it on my shoulder. I couldn't see, my eyes completely blurred from the wet and thick tears streaming out. My heart was breaking with every moment that passed as he didn't wake up. I just wanted you to wake up. His still body remained that way for an eternity to me as I cried. And God knows that the tears I cried fell faster and harder than any I had cried before. I closed my eyes and rested my head against his, losing sense of time, of life, of everything. I squeezed his hand with the might of all my grief.

His mom was still there, crying with me. She rubbed my shoulder as if to comfort me, or maybe she was comforting herself. I couldn't tell, and I didn't care either way. There was nothing left for me. There was no way I could go on. That's what I told myself. I knew I could never live without him. I didn't want him to be gone. We never do.

"You can't leave..." I sobbed quietly into his ear. It felt like a lump had formed in my chest. A lump that made doing anything impossible. I wanted more than anything for him to come back. I still do.

"Hello, I'm doctor Gaven. I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm here because when a patient dies, we have to declare it." A man's voice came from the doorway, sending me into a full sob again. "Don't worry, we won't be more than a few minutes, and then we'll give you a moment alone. If you'd like to step away for this, I completely understand."

I raised my head, noticing the large wet spot that had formed right beside his head. I couldn't stop sobbing, no matter how hard I tried. And it seemed Ms. Taylor couldn't either. His body lay there, motionless and silent. His face was blank, devoid of any emotion, of any life. You left my side, and I've never fully recovered.

"Time of death, 8:22 PM. August 25th, 2020." He stated after minutes of opening his eyes, checking his pulse, his chest, and placing a stethoscope on his rib cage.

The doctor wrote things down as he walked out of the room, and I went right back to Bry's side. His mother and I stood at his side for an hour, but eventually, a group of nurses and a doctor came in. They asked us to leave, covering him with the white sheet that had once been helping him stay warm.

I walked into the hall, my eyes burning and tired. I hadn't thought that I would run out of water for tears, but I had. I found myself parched, deeply depressed, and longing for it all to be a horrible nightmare. It still doesn't feel real. After roaming around for a few minutes, I made my way to the elevator and back down to the first floor. A vending machine was in the waiting room, and so was someone else. Kevin, along with a group of people that must've been his family, was walking toward the entrance doors. His head turned, and our eyes met. He quickly said something to his family and then made his way over to me.

"Hey, you alright?" He asked gently, analyzing my face. His eyebrows furrowed then, and he pursed his lips. "Is it... is it your friend?"

I didn't even want to think the words, much less say them out loud. That would've made it too real. So instead, I bargained on saying nothing. Kevin put a comforting hand on my arm, and suddenly I felt the massive headache that must've formed hours ago.