Most Lovely Words

Chapter 13: Stay

If anyone were to have asked before that night how I felt about sexuality, I would've laughed. I would've told them to date whoever, that it didn't matter to me who you were or loved. But at that moment? I would've said it was a confusing mess that left me speechless. I would've said that I didn't even know who I was, much less who I liked. And the worst part? It would stay that way forever. It felt like endless nights and countless days had passed since losing Bry, and my mind was now in a place I had never expected.

"Question," Delina still stood in my kitchen, leaning against the counter.

"Uh..." I blinked, trying to come back to real life. "Alright."

"You do that a lot?" She asked with a smirk.

I frowned, pursing my lips. "Do what?"

"Stare off into space." She elaborated. "Don't get me wrong, it's cute, but... you ok?"

I tried not to remind myself that Bry and I had passed the friend zone, that technically we had still been together after his death, but that's all my mind could think. It wasn't like we had broken up, and my heart couldn't take the crushing weight that would be accepting his death. So how was I supposed to handle Delina? How was I meant to deal with feelings after having just lost the most important person in my life? You move on, and that doesn't mean you ever forget.

I awkwardly plated the omelet I'd made, hoping she would ignore my cold shoulder. When I handed it to her, she gave me an understanding smile. I felt a heavy burden fall off my shoulders when I was around her, and I still wasn't sure why. Whatever the reason, I was grateful for her.

We sat down on my couch, her resting her legs on top of mine. The way she could casually throw her head back and laugh brought me back to Bry. The way he had smiled so fully even despite being so sad. The way he had worn his heart on his sleeve with a guard-the way he made me feel.

"Give it!" I demand.

"No." Bry clutches my notebook tightly.

I sigh. "What do you want?"

"A kiss?" He whispers.

My eyes widen. "What?"

He laughs, softly handing me my notebook. "I'm only kidding. Relax, Kallie."

"Oh, and this one time, my mom was... Kallie?" Delina stared at me with a frown.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm here." I assured her.

"No, you're not." She pouted, putting a hand on mine. "Is it your boyfriend?"

It took a fraction of a second for my resolve to break again. But this time, it felt different. I wanted him back so badly. He had been taken at a time when he was needed the most. And everything that we'd said, all of the love we'd ever shared, was hurting even more. I missed him, more than anyone could imagine. But, I was tired of crying. Every time it felt like I'd started to heal, all it would take was a word or tiny thing for my life to be consumed by him again-all of the things he'd never done, the jealousy in his eyes brought on by Callum.

"We're too young to be worrying about that kind of stuff, anyway."

Not when you are living on borrowed time. I could feel my eyes lock with Delina's, and I knew then. Even if it hurt to no end, I would keep my promise to him. I had to try to keep living. I grabbed the photo album off the table, opening it to the first page again.

"Do you want to see him?" I asked uneasily, not the slightest bit ready.

Delina smiled a little with a nod. "Sure."