D for Depression [Mature]

Chapter 34: The Fear Of Having

Warning: Soft chapter ahead. (Well maybe not all of it 😇)

Thirty minutes.

That's all it took for us to wander around the fair, play a few more silly games and devour are two sticks of rainbow cotton candy, before we finally drifted away.

My hands were practically bruising his ribs, from how hard I was clutching on him, while Jackson rode through the night careless, erasing all the traffic rules from his mind.

Some people would call it reckless, insesitive, stupid...well, I guess we were all these things and even more.

''Try and stand up.'' He yells, speeding the vehicle towards the open road.

''What?'' Panic immediately settles in me. The thought of falling over makes my stomach twitch and I find myself fisting his leather jacket, as if he is going to push me on purpose.

''No way!''

''Come on. You got it.''

''No Jackson.'' I answer, shaking my head.

It really flatters me how he thinks I am capable of doing things like that, but honestly I'm not trying to kill myself that way. The possibility of broken bones or worst, scattered body parts, does not sound appealing to me. I'm too much of a pussy for that.

He chuckles at my response, patting my thigh in comfort. The heat of his palm, smoothes the slight goosebumps on my skin and I press a kiss on his neck appreciating his gesture.

It feels really good to be so open about your fears, without thinking about getting judged every second of the day.

A lot of people believe that, trying to surpass them is more important than living with them, but honestly, the true power comes from your ability to acknowledge and accept your fears.

Getting over them comes second.

Two years in therapy guys.

''You okay back there?''

Jackson's voice brings me back to reality and I realize the motorcycle is cutting speed.

''Are we here already?'

''Five more minutes.''

Looking around reluctantly, I try to find any clue of where we are heading, but the route he chose makes it difficult to navigate.

''I promised you the best view of the town right?'' He asks, making me nod my head on his shoulder.

I kinda wished he would take me back to his house, since his terrace had the best view I've ever seen, but asking him to go there sounded kind of risky.

I mean what am I supposed to say?

''Please bring me to your place cause I missed the way your scent is lingering everywhere?''

Nope. That screams pathetic from miles away.

Maybe something like ''I kept thinking about our morning together. I wanna do that again.''

Noooo Daphne.

That would imply, I want him to eat me like a savage. Straight out inappropriate.

''A penny for your thoughts?''

My head snaps towards him, catching his eyes through the mirror.

''Sorry. What did you say?''

''You seemed pretty lost in there. What were you thinking?''

Oh, you know...Just your head between my legs, before the stupid panic attack interrupts my third orgasm.