you never love me when you're drunk

1

the plan wasn't necessarily to get as drunk as possible without passing out and then breaking up with his undefined significant partner, but it's what happened.

yoongi and jimin had been "together" for "awhile." it wasn't defined, and it wasn't much, but it was there. it was something.

yoongi wasn't even ready for something. and jimin sure as hell wasn't, either.

so yoongi, in a fit of panic and general disinterest for his own well-being and the repercussions of the aftermath, drinks far too much alcohol and then texts jimin.

yoongi

we should talk

now right now

jimin doesn't see the text for a few minutes and it has yoongi on his toes, secretly hoping that jimin will never respond. after the read symbol shows up, jimin texts him back.

jimin

hey

we haven't talked in awhile are you okay?

you were going kind of crazy on your twitter...

yoongi

whattver

it doesnt matter i just need to say ssomething

jimin

are you drunk?

yoongi

yes

doesnt matter i said rhat

i cant do this with tou

jimin

do what

like...anything?

yoongi

canr do it

just friends please i cant do it

no more cute talk nonkpre loving

jimin

youre drunk, calm down

im calling you

yoongi's phone lights up with jimin's number and and he decides, fuck it, and picks it up.

"...hello?" jimin asks when yoongi doesn't say anything. "yoongi?"

"jimin." yoongi's words are slurred. "why'd you call me, i already said what i did."

"i know, but why are you saying this? why, all of the sudden?"

yoongi's not going to admit that he's been contemplating this scenario a hundred different ways for the past two months.

"look, i- i just can't," yoongi huffs, squeezing his eyes shut to block the migraine forming. "i don't- don't love you."

silence.

"what?" jimin's voice is broken. "you... what?"

"i d-don't love you," yoongi repeats, and it settles in his head the more he says it. "i'm- i can't, because i'm not r- not ready, and you're not ready, and it can't happen." yoongi sniffs. his buzz is strong but not stronger than the pain. tears fall down his cheeks. "please, just go."

"why are you doing this? after everything i just went through and everything you told me before, it was a lie?" jimin's voice cracks with every word.

"n-no," yoongi finds himself admitting. "but i-i was wrong. and- and i really thought that- i could do this but i can't, and- and i'm not going to lead it on."

there's a moment in the barely-there conversation, where yoongi thinks he hears jimin's heart shatter on the floor.

"...i understand."

the words don't process initially, so yoongi sputters.

"w-what? what're you- what?"

"i get it, okay? we went into this without- without knowing where it was going or what we were doing. we tried and it didn't work."

somehow, that fact of the matter had never occurred to yoongi.

they had tried. yoongi made it apparent that he hadn't been in a relationship in years and that they could try something undefined to see how it might go. it was obvious that there might not ever be an endgame.

but this is the endgame.

they tried. it didn't work.

"text me when you're sober," jimin says finally, and then hangs up.

yoongi stays on the phone for longer than he needs to before throwing it to the side and dropping his face into his hands, wishing he hadn't gotten himself into things he didn't want.