life may not be fair but it sure is beautiful

Unraveling a secret

To Jungeun's surprise, it was actually easy to convince people that her wife of a few days was eaten by a hungry pack of wolves after they separated in the forest due to a dramatic fight. She just had to fake two or three well-timed sobs and indicate that her heart is shattered by the death of the said girl. Her interlocutors got uncomfortable, not sure of what to say or how to behave in front of the boy who is suffering from heartache. She was a 16-year-old widow after all.

In the very first days, Jungeun had a little fun with the situation. "I'll never get to tell her that I love her ever again!" or "My Jinsoul... too young... too pure..." was just two of the dramatic responses she had given to overly curious palace workers. But now that the news has traveled all around the capital and it being the alive, busy city it was the latest gossip topic was slowly starting to change. Which Jungeun was glad about, no matter how much fun she was having. She didn't want to sadden herself and the princess even more.

Things were fragile in their relationship. After their mutual confessions and Jungeun's rejection, all the craziness that followed it, a wall made of glass was placed between them. Stopping them from getting too close or even communicating normally. Their conversations, which once could last hours, were reduced into a shell of small talk. Averted gazes, forced smiles, and good mornings and good afternoons... Jungeun knew Jiwoo was confused. Judging from the way she was walking on eggshells in their every encounter lately, she believed that her beloved guard was grieving over the death of her late wife. But she didn't know the truth. The princess didn't know anything that mattered about Jungeun, the guard bitterly thought, how could she say that she loved her truly? On the other hand, Jiwoo knew that Jungeun liked to train in the mornings, knew that she took two sugars in her tea in the afternoon and none in the evenings. She was aware of such little things but not the naked, harsh truth that was staring right at her. She loved what she thought Jungeun was.

Jungeun sighed and put her book back on the table. She was too occupied by her thoughts to read. She didn't know what to do to make her boredom and bad mood go away. What did she normally do when Jiwoo was busy anyway?

The firm knock on her door pulled her out of her trance.

"Yes?" She answered a little bit unsure, she hoped that it wasn't another person wishing for her wellness after the catastrophe that happened.

"Princess Jiwoo demands your presence." A maid informed her, "Your majesty is in the garden."

Surprised, Jungeun got up faster than she ever did. "Did she say what she needed?"

"No, Junghyun-sshi." The maid answered, "She just said that she needs you for something."

Jungeun nodded. She couldn't help but feel excited as her steps brought her to the entrance of the garden where the princess was waiting, drinking her afternoon tea as always.

When they came face to face, she noticed that Jiwoo still had trouble looking directly into her eyes. Was she embarrassed or timid?

"I believe you've requested my presence, my princess." Jungeun said formally, she still couldn't figure out their current relationship's borders, "Did something happen?"

Jiwoo, for the first time in weeks, let her eyes wander on the younger's face before gulping. "Junghyun..." She started, sounding unsure, "I think we should take another trip to the forest."

It wasn't a request but an order to do some secret training. Still, it made Jungeun happy. She knew that it was just an excuse to spend time together. She showed a small smile to the princess unintentionally. "I'm ready if you're ready."

-

They didn't talk on the walk towards their usual training spot. Every time Jungeun glanced at the princess she looked lost in thought, so the guard just let her be. Breaking the silence seemed harder than ever.