life may not be fair but it sure is beautiful

Useless coward

Jungeun waited for the princess to comeback patiently in her garden. Maids who became familiar with her presence throughout nine years brought her tea and set up a table for her. As she was chatting with one of Jiwoo's maids, she saw the princess coming towards them. She looked furious. She stumped her feet as she got on her porch and kicked her shoes off. Without making eye contact with anyone she screeched her order.

"No one is to bother me! If any of you knock on my door unless I ask, will be punished severely."

With that, she slammed her door shut and left everyone wondering what had happened during her short conversation with the King.

Jungeun was visibly worried, knowing that she couldn't disobey her orders, sat right next to her door, and waited. She ordered the confused maids to go and take the day off on the princess' orders. They were alone in her section of the palace and Jiwoo's sobs filled their isolation. She sobbed for what seemed like an eternity. Jungeun shed a few tears of her own, not knowing what caused this and how to put a stop to it was really dragging her heart through shattered glass, ripping and shredding it.

The sun waved goodbye and stars looked down at them with pity and sadness but the princess' tears didn't stop. Jungeun tried to gather her courage to knock a few times, but each time she found herself at loss for words. Her breath stuck to her throat and her heartbeat at an alarming rate. Maybe she should let the princess cry her heart out, let it all go before she was ready to tell. As the night went on Jungeun got up and went to the kitchen to get food and water for Jiwoo. She might be the saddest she's ever been, but she was still human.

She gathered all she could find at that hour and returned to the princess' garden. She set the food and the pitcher filled with water in front of the door and knocked on her door. Crying faded a bit and Jungeun took a few steps back and sat there, on her knees, looking downwards to be respectful. They might be more than a princess and her guard but if the princess didn't want to see anyone, she would respect her order.

She heard her door slide open and the princess sniffle. Jiwoo drank from the pitcher and took a step towards Jungeun. When she finally opened her mouth, her voice rasped.

"Come in, Jungie-ah." Said Jiwoo, going back in without touching the food. Jungeun did as she ordered, feeling anxious to be going into her room in the middle of the night. What if somebody saw them?

Inside of her room looked like it went through a hurricane. Her dresses were all over the place, sheets and curtains were wrinkled. There was a huge wet spot on her pillow, her tears were at fault, no doubt.

"I am engaged apparently." She said, not trying anything to soften the blow. Jungeun felt like she just got punched in her stomach, all air left her lungs and her brain stopped working. She knew for a fact that the princess would get married one day and it wouldn't be her, but Jiwoo's feelings must have clouded her mind that she forgot about this.

The princess looked on the edge of tears once again as Jungeun failed to react. She didn't know what to say.

"Ask me to run away with you Jungie-ah, and I will. Please, say that you will run away with me." Pleaded Jiwoo, very well aware that the second they would attempt this, they would get caught and Jungeun would be executed while she would be forced to marry. She couldn't think straight, she felt like she was in a maze she drew circles in, with no hope of an escape.

"I-we can't do that. Even I'm not that capable. They would catch us in no time." Jungeun said, her voice low with heartbreak. "I'm sorry."

Jiwoo flashed her an angry look. "You are no good, Jungie-ah. All you say are apologies and all you do is to break my heart." She said punching her chest. Tears and sobs were coming back. "I'm sorry too, I am sorry to ever love you and I'm sorry that I can't move on. I'm sorry that you are my only friend and the light of my life. And I am fucking sorry that you are a useless coward who can't help me when I most need it."