life may not be fair but it sure is beautiful

Belonging to the stars

Jiwoo hurriedly gathered her belongings, knowing that this was her last shot at freedom, her last chance to jump off and spread her wings. Hopefully, Jungeun would be on the other end, arms open to catch her.

Looking around cautiously, Jiwoo reached under her bed and grabbed a wooden jewelry box. Her mind was always set on an escape plan since she was sixteen, her eyes never leaving her guard and her heart never once wavering. She gathered every piece of coin she could get her hands on. Every gold piece, jewelry gifts, and all other valuable things she could get away with hiding. Her dream was to run away as far as she could, selling these things in her possession and never once letting go of Jungie's hand.

Emptying everything in her box to a pouch she secured it by shoving it to the bottom of her bag. Not wanting the weight of her fancy clothes on her back, she gathered her simpler clothes. She would hop over to Jungeun's house and beg for her clothes before she took off. They were a bit too loose on her but would allow her to move with comfort and without gathering attention.

Just before she took off, she paused at the door, reminiscing her memories, her childhood which she was abandoning at that second. She was surprised to feel nothing, only empty kindness and strict education.

Lastly, she set her crown on top of her bed, leaving her past behind her. There was not even an ounce of regret in her heart.

Just as she opened her door, she was faced with her father, who wore a sorrowful expression. Her heart suddenly filled with fear as his eyes traveled from her face to her crown which was abandoned on her bed.

"You are leaving for good, aren't you?" he said, his voice low and full of regret.

"I am. I've given this life a chance, yet you shoved it away with the back of your hand. I won't stay where I'm not happy." She said, her voice barely a whisper. All the emotions she bottled up during all those years spilling through her eyes.

"I... wanted to say I am sorry." He said, surprising Jiwoo. "I was never an attentive father, I should have cared for you, made sure that your siblings treated you as their equal, not left you alone due to your different mothers. I have made a lot of mistakes but ignored them even though it affected you greatly. I've been bested by my own pride and refused you a chance at a great life. I am sorry."

Jiwoo listened to her father, who stood in front of her without a crown, mostly in simple clothes. Her tears streamed down her face.

"Can you please consider coming back, with your loved one? Can you give me a chance to make things right?" he asked, eyes pleading. "I don't know what came over me back there in the courtyard. I don't know what made me lose my affection as a father. So please, my precious daughter, my sun, can you forgive your father?"

Jiwoo felt the weight of her bag on her back much more than before. As tears traveled their way through her face, she shook her head. "I never felt at home. I never felt like I've belonged to a place. The only thing that soothed me until I met Junghyun-ah was the night sky. I would cry myself to sleep, looking at stars, wondering why I've never met my mother. I would cry thinking about those ugly rumors about her." She said, wiping her tears with her sleeve. Her father's eyes had sadness seeping through. "But then, you blessed me with a young boy, a silly little child that brightened my life. I thank you for that and for giving me a luxurious life but nothing else. I don't wish for anything more than your approval for me to leave. I will find him and I will start a new life, away from here. I want to bury Princess Kim Jiwoo in the past and take my first breath as Kim Jiwoo. Can you at least give me that?"

His father hesitated for a moment, examining the situation in his head, emotions storming through his mind. And then he stepped aside.

"You can so as you please but I want you to know that you will always have a home here." He said as he held out a pouch. "Take this and let the wind of fate sail you away my dearest child. I no longer will be an obstacle in your way."

Jiwoo accepted his offer and with unsure movements, leaned to hug him. "Thank you."

-

Six days. Six days have passed since she hopped on a saddle and went off to find her love. The only lead she had was the location of the final battle, where Jungeun took a blow and went missing. If she was alive, she would be around there.

She looked around every village that was within a few days travel and there was no clue so far. Sighing as she entered the small village she visited two days ago, she walked through the market place aimlessly. Maybe she should have searched differently. She always asked around for a Kim Dynasty soldier with a fatal wound but now that she realized, if someone had found her, they would know her secret during attempted healing.

Deciding to try out her new strategy she sat in a tea shop, ordering whatever she saw first on the sign. As the server brought her tea she tried to act casual.

"So, I hear that there was a woman fighting in the last battle. Is that true?" she asked, pretending to be interested in her book. "I would like to meet this insane woman but no one seems to know where she might be."

The server looked at her with suspicion before answering. "I heard no such thing, ma'am." He bowed before retreating back to the kitchen.

Cursing her bad acting, Jiwoo sipped her tea slowly. She was about to leave when she heard a whisper.

"Unnie, look over here."

She tried to locate the voice but at first, it seemed like it was from thin air. Then she heard it again and this time she saw the little girl who looked at her from a rooftop. She smiled at the little girl, not over the age of five.

"Is your name Jiwoo?" she asked. Voice somehow sounding more determined and clear than any other adult Jiwoo had talked around the area. The girl's hopeful tone made Jiwoo think that maybe, there's still hope left in the world.

"Yes." She answered, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

"Then follow me."

With that she got up from her seat, heart trying to escape from her ribcage. There wasn't any doubt in Jiwoo's mind as she followed this unfamiliar child's footsteps. She didn't even ask where was she taking her, all was fine if the road leads to Jungeun in the end.

They passed by various streets, each covered in mud and all kinds of garbage. It was a sight Jiwoo was highly unfamiliar with but when she spotted the way the little girl's flimsy red dress came in contact with the ground. The dress got dirtier and dirtier as Jiwoo's heart developed an emotion that's far away from the disgust she had expected to feel at first due to her status as a princess. However, she was a bit sympathetic, a bit pitiful. She let the melancholic mix of emotions settle into the pit of her stomach and carried on.

There was so much she didn't see of the world and so little she knew of it.

The bitter realization came to her as she watched the poor neighborhood the girl led them to. The buildings were in shreds and all the people she saw around was supporting the same expression

A little tired of the world, the war, everything.

She didn't even realize the little girl stopped until she felt a tug on her sleeve, asking for attention. "Unnie, we're here."

Looking around she saw nothing but an old house, in a slightly better state than the others. The thought of going into a random house scared her suddenly. What if she was robbed... or worse?

But all her suspicions disappeared when the small girl talked again. "That unnie we found kept on mumbling Jiwoo, Jiwoo, Jiwoo in her sleep. She must have hit her head really hard, unnie!"

Relief washed over her and she barely found the strength to smile. "Should I knock on the door?"

She did as she said when she got a nod in return. A man who was probably in his 70's answered the door, looking at the girl and Jiwoo several times with a quizzical expression.

"Grandpa, this is Jiwoo!"

The man's face changed from dubious to surprised in a matter of seconds and finally, he moved away from the door, unblocking the view to the inside of the house.

And that was how she found Jungeun, in a poor home, laying on a piece of cloth and stitches all over her stomach. She looked barely alive but to Jiwoo it was enough. There was a chance, a bright light leading to a better future.