Pandora's Box | kim mingyu & jeon wonwoo

07

"She asked you to do what?"

I hadn't planned to meet with Wonwoo after school today, but he had left me with no choice. I had uncharacteristically avoided him after my conversation with Nayoung, and even the ever-so-oblivious Wonwoo had noticed my absence. And while it had made me happy to watch him look for me around the school so we could walk home together, I was not so happy when I watched him walk in at my place at work, demanding answers for me.

From the moment that I saw him, I knew I would have to have a conversation I wasn't ready to have.

I kept no secrets from Wonwoo. I told him everything without so much as a second thought; I felt that I owed him that. He was the only person who knew me, who could see him. Most days, I felt like he could look into my soul the way I looked into his. It was pointless to keep anything from him.

Hence why I didn't want him to see me; he would immediately know that something was off.

And he had. When he had stormed in at my place at work, asking why I had avoided him all day, he had concluded that something unnerving must have happened to me. Which then led to him pushing for me to tell him what was wrong, on the off chance that he could help.

So now, here we were. I had recounted to him what Nayoung had asked of me, and he seemingly had trouble believing me, of all people!

"Are you sure that's what she said?" He asked. The question alone offended me because Wonwoo had never questioned me before. Instead of picking a fight over it, however, I simply nodded. He gulped and began to sweat. Whereas before, where he would worry about me, now Wonwoo worried about her. My heart flinched, but I said nothing.

"Are you going to do it?" Wonwoo said, no longer looking me directly in the eye.

But I did not need to see his eyes to know what Wonwoo wanted from me. I opened my mouth, and gave him the answer he wanted, but did not dare ask for: "I'm gonna give her the money."

His head snapped up, and he looked at my eyes once more. I blushed and felt a sudden heat invade my cheeks. "Yeah, I just didn't have all that cash on me, so she's going to have to wait until I go to the bank on Friday," I explained, just because I felt the need to say something.

"Thank you."

His voice had come out soft; it was barely above a whisper. It sent tingles down my spine and I felt goosebumps beginning to form on my thigh. Strange thoughts began to corrupt my mind and I forcibly pushed them away.

"I would do anything for you," I said, before I could stop myself. Naturally, this had caught him off-guard. We both stopped what we were doing (he had been helping me restock some shelves in the back) and just...stared at each other.

Usually, when I said something embarrassing like that, I always regretted it. But my words had been so sincere that I refused to be ashamed of them. Instead, I pressed on, "I'm doing this for you. I know you like her, and I figured that if I treated her nice, she'd realize we're not that bad down here," I licked my lips, "I think you should know that."

After that, I let my words hang in the air for a second. Neither of us felt the need to say anything more, so I mumbled something about forgetting some tags in the back. Even as I turned around to run away, however, I could see the ghost of a smile begin to form on Wonwoo's lips.

My heart raced.

When I returned from the back, I noted that Wonwoo had disappeared. I tried not to take it personally, as I was sure he had some things to do as a senior in high school. Still, my heart stung even as I tried not to think about it.

I tried my best to go about my day like usual, but for some reason, I could not stop replaying my moment with Wonwoo. I couldn't help but wonder if he thought about it too? I wondered: does Wonwoo care about me the way I care about him? Does he see me the way I see him?

And every time, the answer was the same.

It didn't hurt any less, of course, so instead, I did what I did best: I pushed all of my feelings down until there was nothing left but our friendship.

On Friday, I was quick to text Nayoung to meet me by the school gates at the end of school.

The whole day, I had spent my breaks with Wonwoo talking about what I was about to do. He wondered how Nayoung would pay me back if she had been cut off from her dad; I didn't bother wondering, I had already come to peace with the fact that the money I was giving her was going to be a gift, as opposed to a loan.

It hurt my feelings of course, as I had been saving up for college. Alas, I just hoped Wonwoo would see the value in what I was doing; that would be enough to satisfy me.

Other times, Wonwoo talked about the city. He wondered aloud why Nayoung was so anxious to go back to the city. He wondered if there was someone she was particularly eager to see. When he spoke about this, his tone would shift to disappointment, so I decided then and there that I would never tell him about Nayoung's boyfriend. Besides, I would think, if Nayoung were to pick any other boy over Wonwoo, she would be a bigger dumbass than I thought. 

Anyway, before either of us realized it, the last bell rang, and my appointment with Nayoung had finally arrived.

It was weird at first. I had grown used to walking home from school with Wonwoo, but today would be different. Instead of going upstairs to look for Wonwoo's classroom, I headed straight downstairs and to the main entrance. I found Nayoung easily, as not many students left home so early.

When I caught up to her, I was stunned to find she was nothing but smiles. It was hard to believe she had been the girl who had poured her heart out to me earlier this week. "Hi! Ready to go?"

Speechless at her sudden change in attitude, I simply nodded, and let her lead the way.

By the time we had reached the shopping district, I was starting to realize that perhaps Nayoung was unaware of where the bank was located. I tried to redirect her many times, but every time I tried to speak, Nayoung was quick to take control of the conversation. She wasn't doing it to be annoying, and, on the contrary, she seemed to be doing it to make me feel comfortable. Nayoung was practically desperate to make conversation smooth between the two of us, and in turn, was making it rather awkward.

After we had passed by my uncle's store a third time, however, I had decided that enough was enough. 

At one point, I just stopped walking. It took Nayoung a second to notice, but once she did, she seemed properly confused. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

I shook my head. "You don't know where the bank is," I said. It wasn't an accusation, but rather, a statement. She flushed at this, and awkwardly nodded her head. I had to resist the urge to boast triumphantly, and instead, I tried for a smile.

"I'm sorry. I'm just very nervous about today," she explained. I nodded at this too. I understood what she was trying to say. After all, I had felt pretty nervous about this all day (for different reasons). For starters, I was nervous my parents would eventually find out about the money I was about to take out. It was a large sum of cash that I barely had, and if they found out I had not only wasted it but that I had wasted it on some girl, they were going to have my head.

On top of that, I didn't really want anyone to see me with Nayoung. This was a small town after all, and everybody knows everybody. All it took was the wrong person to catch us before word got back to my family.

I imagined she was nervous for completely different reasons. Like maybe I wouldn't give her the money after all, or maybe I would extort her in return for doing her such a favor. She talked big about trusting me, but could she really trust someone she didn't know? For fuck's sake, I was the one losing money here, and I still didn't trust her. Instead of voicing all of this, however, I decided to go with something else.

"It's all going to be okay," I said. I had hoped my words would provide her with some comfort, and as I watched Nayoung's shoulders slowly relax as she looked up at me, I was satisfied that I had completed the job. "Now," I smiled, "let me lead the way."