Inside Of Her Mind

Chapter One

"You did this..." I choked out, licking the tears off my lips, "I chose you... I loved you, I literally gave you everything!" I throw my hands in the air and watch as the person I thought I knew flinched, stepping back, "I never want to see you again..."

"Beck?" My name is called from outside my dorm room. Damnit. I breath in, choking on the smell of tobacco my roommate leftover.

"No, no, no, it's not time yet!" I whisper to myself, cursing under my breath. I quickly shove a bunch of things under my bed and I run over to the floor length mirror that lays against the closet, examining myself. My brown hair is in waves, falling right below my shoulders, and I make sure that I covered up that annoying cheek freckle with makeup when I put it on.

My door handle jingles from behind me and I rush to fluff up my hair. I run up to it after, right as it opens, "Beck, why didn't you pick up my calls, you had me thinking you were dead." Ciarra stands in the doorway and slaps her chest, faking pain.

I scoff, "You told me literally last minute that you wanted to do something so I had to clean up my room and myself before you got here." I paused, "I didn't have time to pick up your 30 calls." And it's true. I love Ciarra, but she takes everything to the extreme. We met 3 years ago, junior year of highschool. She was the rebellious kid that never did her schoolwork and I was the loner who happened to be her best and only friend.

"Yeah, well, I needed to make sure you were getting ready and that you weren't dead." She walks into my dorm, slamming the door behind her. Her grey eyes scan me, "God, I wish I had your hair." She grabs a piece of my hair and hers, pressing them against each other, "Look at these dead ends, jesus."

Her hair is black, and she dyes it constantly. I wonder why it's dead. I playfully slap her hand away and push past her, gripping the handle and opening my door, "Where are we going?" I say, striding out of the room, assuming she's following me.

"We're going to the cafe. Ya know, Deena's, right down the street?" I hear the door close and her heels clacking against the tiles of the dorm hallway. She insists on wearing heels, no matter the event. She won't say why, but we all know it's because she's 5"2, "We're gonna meet some of my friends there."

I stop in my tracks and turn around, my sneakers squeak against the floor, she's wincing like I've struck her, "No. No, Ciarra, I'm not talking to anyone."

She calms and speaks, adjusting the pleats of her plaid skirt, "I knew you'd say that," She sighs, "Beck, I've been your only friend for years. Don't you think it's about time you have someone else to talk to? It gets boring being your first and only call to do anything... no offense." She shrugs.

I don't hate people, I just hate talking to them. I don't talk to people unless they talk to me first, that's just how it works. But, I'll have Ciarra there, and that's the only reason why I say, "Fine."

---

The bell on the glass door rings as we step through it, the door is lined with gold painted details that just warm your heart, and I smile. Deena's cafe is my favorite place on campus to go. It always smells like pastries and the colors on the walls are calming. Fake pink roses hang from the ceilings and there's plants in every corner, the walls are painted pink and the lining is baby blue. It's so sweet.

Ciarra guides me around the small tables and to a booth, there's four people sitting in it already. That's a lot more people than I expected. I suck in a breath and slide in besides Ciarra on the outside, because someone's already sitting by the window. My legs dangle out the sides and I pull them together tightly.

Four people, 3 boys and 1 girl, besides Ciarra and I. Well, I'm assuming they're a girl... they'll probably let me know if it's otherwise. I look at Ciarra and she grabs my hand squeezing it, smiling at me. I feel like a baby, being so terrified of just meeting new people. It's a bit sad. I just have never had the best experience with people, ya know.

"Hey!" One of the boys speaks. His hair is dyed green but black at the roots, his natural hair color. His eyebrow is pierced with two silver beads, probably connected under the skin.

"Hey." Ciara slurs back. I stare down at my feet, messing around with my fingers. I don't want to be shy, honestly. It would be great to have new friends, but it's intimidating. I'm not a social butterfly, I'm more like an anti-social caterpillar... just trying to eat leaves and move on with it's life.

Conversation sparks along the group and I pick up things about dogs, parties, and politics. An odd combo...

"Hey," A voice speaks up. I look up at the table and see the girl staring at me. Her brown hair is twisted into many braids, with gold rings stuck inside in some places. Her skin is dark and so are her eyes when I look into them, "What's your name again?" She asks me with a smile.

I furrow my brows at her. Why is she talking to me when there's a whole group of her friends around here? I think, "Uh, it's Rebecka. I go by Beck though." I smile back. I watch as her eyes scan my upper half. I begin to feel uncomfortable, with a stranger's eyes on me. I cross my arms against my chest, tight.

"You're pretty." She spits out, simply. My cheeks heat and I'm hoping it's not visible. I  don't usually get called pretty. I laugh to myself, "Thanks, so are you." And she is, very.

"Thanks! So, are you from the school?"

---

"So, you seemed to get along well with Samira." Ciarra smiled at me as she spoke and I nodded. I stared at the sidewalk as we walked, we had just left the cafe.

But I run into a wall, a big wall that crashes down as soon as I hit it. So do I, my bare knees hit the pavement and I wince, slapping my hands down. That definitely left a mark... ouch.

"Shit, are you blind?" A voice says. A deep, slightly raspy voice.

I look up and find out that I didn't hit a wall, I hit a person. A guy, with dark brown, short waves of hair and tattoos along his neck. A guy with green eyes and a slim, yet muscular figure, "I'm sorry," I apologize. I look to Ciarra. Her jaw is almost to the floor.

I clear my throat and she snaps towards me, grabbing my arm and pulling me up, I silently thank her as I stand.

"You seem fine, I won't get into any more lawsuits, right?" The guy says again, laughing quietly, staring into my eyes. The air is getting colder and I just want to go home,

"Yep, no lawsuits," I turn to Ciarra and widen my eyes, she speaks for me.

"Have a good day." She sounds rushed as she speaks, walking past me. I catch up to her, rubbing my arms.

When I look back, The guy is staring at his phone. He turns his head and we lock eyes.

Shit.. no, he's gonna think I'm a creep. I sigh, staring down at the sidewalk again. As we walk back, the image of two people play in my head. Samira and the guy. I'm starting to question a lot of things...