Nang Ika'y Umasa

From Italya

Entry #235 - February 28, 2029
Dear Diary,
This is Italya Rivera-Hermosilla. And yes, I am married to Gico. It's been three years since we got married.

I and Gico's love journey is not a fairytale. After that New Year, 6 years ago, when he confessed his real intentions with me. I know he is not a perfect man. But God gave him to me imperfectly and just. Umuwi ako ng gabing yun. I was adamant to get my things and move on.

The real reason why Franz and I broke up was because he is gay. He used me to prove to his family that he is a real-straight guy, and for them to stop nagging about girlfriends and marriage. I admitted to him that I kinda used him too to forget Gico. We became good friends. And Antonette was ecstatic to welcome Franz. Pangarap daw niyang magkaroon ng baklang kaibigan.

Gawd! I realized, maybe, indeed I got it bad.

Siguro, magmula ng jeep encounter namin noon ni Gico gusto ko na siya. Mahal ko na siya. Ayoko lang aminin. I was hurt. So hurt for being used. And the fact na gusto niya noon si Antonette, siguro nasaktan din ako dahil doon. I don't want to confront that pain.

Pero sinong niloko ko? I am even more inlove that night in the tree house where he offered his shoulder for me to cry on. My dad decided to meet with Jesus so soon. I was disheartened because we were not ready. Mommy's case was worse than we.

Gico you drive me insane! I cried my heart out with Antonette and Franz. Both of them we're saying that you got it bad with me too. But I was not buying their words.

Chantal. You told me you were going to court her. Nalungkot ako. Nandito naman ako, ba't hindi na lang ako? Kaya ako umalis ng Christmas na yun. 12 hours before Christmas eve? Yeah, I lied when I said I will go home. I drank my ass out in a hotel that Christmas. But hey, I didn't go home without anything for you. I cooked you your favorite dish. Italian Spicy Carbonara.

But guess what... Antonette and Franz found out what happened to me. They dragged me to the hotel and convinced me to go home with you. Home? Condo mo lang 'yon. Bahay mo siguro. But not mine. Nakikitira lang ako.

Although Antonette and Franz convinced me to go back, I still don't believe them. Nakatatak na sa utak ko na kunin mga gamit ko at umalis na. I need to fucking move on!

You were so surprised when I went back. Hanggang ngayon, naalala ko 'yong mukha mo nang di ka makapaniwalang nakita mo ako. Sinampal mo pa noon pisngi mo kung namamalikta ka ba. I smiled. It was so cute, but I was in pain. I went straight to my bedroom and got my things out.

Aligaga kang makitang nag-iimpake ako. There were a lot of questions you asked, but I forget what were those. I shunned you out pero ang kulit mo. Sa huli you used me that bestfriend card! Kesyo bestfriends tayo kaya responsibilidad mo ako. Kesyo nangako ka kay mommy at sa mga ate ko na aalagaan habang nasa poder mo ako. But that night. I was so ready to cut off anything between us even being bestfriends.

Gusto ko ng mag-moveon!

I hate our label. Being bestfriends. May karapatang magtampo pero walang karapatang magselos. Selos na selos ako noon habang katawagan mo si Chantal. But I already forgave you, ages ago. You explained to me what happened between you two.

Nakakainis lang! Ako rin naman may gawa. I made you my bestfriend para kahit paano malapit ako sa'yo. Mas ok na kesa sa friend lang para naman lumevel-up kahit hindi girlfriend.

Ang kulit mo kasi noon. Tinatanong kung anong label natin. Nonstop chatting, texting, messaging and talking with each other everyday despite miles of our countries.

YOU ARE MY BESTEST FRIEND!

Ganda pakinggan nung una pero nang gabing iyon, I hated it. Kinamuhian ko iyon.

Remember, I shouted at you that New Year's eve? I confessed everything. My feelings and such. You were so silent. Akala ko, itataboy mo ako. But you looked me straight in the eye. Caressed my cheeks so light. Wiped my tears. And leaned your nose against mine. May gana ka pang tumawa. You chuckled with that handsome low voice of yours. Rupok ko kaya 'don.

Then you told me, "I'll kiss you. And show you my answer. Let this kiss be my answer."

Then you lied down your intentions. So humble. So gentle. So genuine. And that New Year's fireworks, I barely heard anything gaano man kaingay ang paligid. Gusto ng kumawala noong puso ko sa pangalawang beses na halik na ginawad mo. It was intense; same intensity with longingness and love. I feel protected.

Today, I am writing in your diary to tell you that I thank you for everything. I love you. I thank God kasi sinaktan muna niya tayong dalawa para magtanda tayo at lumaki bilang maging kanya-kanyang indibidwal natin.

God taught us that relationships should be centered with Him. And I thank Jesus for that! We become constant partners in life. You're my enemy on my impulsive decisions, but my hero I feel protective with. Love you since time immemorial. And I will still continue to learn on how to love you right as we grow old together.

Now, as my birthday gift. I hope you will find this diary entry of mine. I know sa'yo 'tong diary na' to. Hinanap ko pa talaga para magsulat ako rito.

Kasama kong isisiksik dito sonogram. Yes, it's a boy we've been waiting for. It's the fruit of our love. God finally answered our prayer. Happy birthday, My Gico!

Love,
Mrs. Italya Rivera-Hermosilla

✉ ✉ ✉ ✉

isha's note: initially, this will end with that rain scene, however, one christmas break i changed my mind and put gico and italya's diary entries. very abrupt but i hope i deliver the message well.. nawa'y you enjoy this super gulo, not-planned one shot, dear readers.. 🤎🤎

trivia / fact: one event in my life transpired and inspired me to write this.. so yes, it is slightly true to life story.. but that would be secret on what part of this story that was.. shsss 🤫🤫