Summary: You, a former knight are helplessly in love with the Captain of the royal guard, Levi, who is about to go on a crusade and you write this cathartic letter to him to confess your love in case you never get to speak of your feelings in his presence.
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"My dearest Levi,
It's bold of me to ever call you that, my Captain, but this isn't any ordinary occasion, you can tell by reading everything I'm going to write below, by the way my writing isn't too formal.
I suppose I should start by mentioning fundamental things regarding this letter. I know it's going to be long and you don't have to read it's entirety if you don't feel up to it, but it'd be my honor if you did. There are things in here that come from my soul and they're meant to only be told to you. I couldn't force you into anything, but it'd be soul relieving if you spare a little time to know what I held in my chest for years.
It's a given. When you've received this letter, I'm most likely dead, or, rather exiled to the the underworld, slayed by the proud blade of a Marleyan knight, but you should know that in this war I've fought well. Or so I like to think. My injuries have caused my weakness and I loathe I couldn't follow you into this new crusade, but staying back has felt relieving and mending to my soul. Spare the Marleyan knight for killing me if you ever come across them; there's no wrong or right in this world, they only seeked justice for their nation by slaying innocent peasants, isn't that what we do on our crusades to their kingdom as well?
But my dearest captain, between everything that's right or wrong in this world I hate to say I don't know where I belong. You're an entirely different case, though. Bear with me as I'm saying those words, I know they're going to make you clutch the paper in your hands but please don't shatter it before I get to speak my mind. You are a bastard son to to a prostitute, an orphan, the former protegee of a man who worked against the knights of the round table and then single heartedly joined them. You were a thief. I know you were thief, I know as much as the next person but I don't think anyone ever understood what it's like to switch positions like that. In the span of a short period of time you were head of your own knights. Me, included.
You are probably wondering why I mentioned your past, it was only for me to highlight your current position as my Captain. And I'm sorry that with this letter I'm somewhat putting you into another position, one that may have you suffering.
Time to jump into the important thesis of this letter. I don't know where you are right now. I'm imagining though, you're sitting by your window, with your armor off of your angelic form, sighing at my words as the sun is setting for our kingdom. In this short life, sun has definitely set for me, for us. There are a thousand things I wanted to say, but never found the courage to. And I'm sad, Levi, I'm sad you have to know this way.
But today, today as in the day I write this letter, is a nice day. For me. (Y/n). We've just gotten back from washing our clothes by the riverside, I've just told you I'm mad that we don't spend much time together anymore now that I'm relieved of my duties as your knight and you hummed in response, greeting with my words with a soft expression on your face, and Levi, right now I think you're going to be the death of me. I can't help it. I keep imagining the way your lips shall taste upon mine and I'm hungry. I'm hungry like a wolf, captain, excuse my words, but it's the truth, I know I'm such a coward for not speaking them, but hiding behind death and my poor ability to write I've found some comfort as to sharing them with you.
Sir Levi, the most honorable knight, today I, while lathering your green undershirt in soap, almost told you I'm in love with you and that I want us to get married. Now that you know your surname, now that you officially belong in the Ackerman clan, now that you can legally marry someone, I'd like to consider getting married to me. Forgive me if I have mistaken what I have perceived as your affections. But you seem to look at me in a way that I haven't seen you look at anyone else. You spend your days with me when you're back from crusades, you write me letters to let me know about your well being.
Am I wrong for loving you? I'll never figure out. It's only that my heart pulls at its strings whenever I see you, my stomach turns and i feel as if I've been thrown from a catapult. I've never understood how you can do that to me. Can you? Have you felt this way about anyone? My mind will haunt me in my very last moments for not knowing an infinite answer. I don't think I'll ever feel released by this heartbreak, even after death. My only release is a fixation on the way you shiver your silvery orbs into mine.
And oh those eyes of yours. I wish you would look at me while holding my hands into yours under the moonlight, I wish you'd tell everything I've imagined you saying. I've never heard the word 'love' fall from your lips in such way so that I could know what it would sound like when you'd say it to me inside my head. But Levi, yes, once again it's a but, I wanted to spend a lifetime listening to it. I wanted for you to tell me how you love waking up next to me as we would hear the river flow beautifully in the distance. My heart is burning, Levi. I know, I'm sad and that I'm crying as I'm writing those words, but I've really dreamt of a future with you, have you felt that way about me?
Sir Levi, the knight who owns my hearth, I only set my pen down for an hour, to simply talk to you over a hot cup of tea, because you had just finished hanging out our clothes to dry and for the first time in my life I've felt as if my prayers have been heard.
You kissed me.
You put your lips against mine, suddenly, as I turned to you while the sun was setting and it was more than I could ever dream of Levi. And you comforted me in such ways I'll never do any justice to simply write into words. How can you be such a godsent angel? My lips are numb and fuzzy and my insides are fluttering, I still can't believe this happened. I can't believe you actually feel that way about me. Suddenly this letter isn't just the goodbye of an unrequited lover, it's so much more. Now I have a reason to fight my way back into the castle. Maybe, Historia would let me be a maiden, it'd be safer to live in the castle, rather on my own even if it means I'll serve as a slave to the queen. I couldn't care less about serving the crown in any way, but for you I'd do anything.
You promised me, with a rose you said you found by the riverside that you'll come back from the crusade, safe and sound and in return I promised I would stay safe as well. Maybe that's the way things should happen, right? I'll start embroidering you your green undershirt, excuse me for the time I'm going to keep it from you and pretend I don't know where it is.
I'll embroider your most favorite thing on it. A white dragon. Because you remind me of one. I'm biting my silly lips as I'm writing this, my Captain, but I can't wait for you to hold me in your arms. And I can't wait for you to slightly smile when you see what I'm going to make for you. I'm going to stop my mumbling now. I someday will give this to you, once you're back from the crusade in Marley.
Love, (y/n), the brat who doesn't know how to waste minimum soap while washing clothes effectively."
