Her Final Words

Prologue

Why did things have to turn out the way they did? A bloody mess? A regretful relationship that came back from where it ended? A broken family? Death of a innocent man who I saw as my father. Why? What made things go down hill? Was it the fact that my mother cheated on my psychotic father? My brother isn't my father's, but instead his rival. But he's dead and out of the picture. Tho, I never really knew him, and thankfully I'm glad I haven't, less drama to be dealt with. Tho, that is far from my issues I have now.

My name is Oh Yoonwoo, 16 years old and suffer from PTSD, anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, plus many other problems, with multiple medications that I have to take all my life. If I didn't have my brother, who I don't care has a different father, we still have the same insane, whore mother who we have no contact with in anyway, shape or form. My brother Jhinwoo takes care of me, he has his own place and I live with him. He has a part time job as a doctor's assistant, the only reason he has that job is because my doctor who prescribes my medications knows our story, our situation, my mental health is on the line. The night it happened, 13 years ago, I was 3 years old and it was late, I snuck out of bed and woke up Jhinwoo to the sound of struggling that came from downstairs.

We quietly headed downstairs and slowly turned the corner to see my father hunched over in a vertical fetal position, hovering what was hard to see at first considering the fact the kitchen was dark, and all we could hear was a squishing sound, and the air smelled of blood, and a lot of it. But... who's? Seeing my dad pull out the knife from whatever he was stabbing and stand up straight wiping the sweat off his face was enough for me to put two and two together, I may have only been 3 years old at the time, but I wasn't no idiot, and neither was Jhinwoo, and since he was much taller than me (for only being 3 years old) turned on the kitchen light from the light switch not that far from his reach.

My father Sangwoo gasped and quickly turned to face us. Our eyes widened, he was covered in so much blood, the overpowering blood metallic smell filled my nose making me extremely nauseous. I step to the side, to which I honestly wish I had not. But at the same time I needed to know where the smell was coming from. I step back, losing my balance and fall on my butt, my back was pressed against the wall, as I covered my mouth and screamed, my eyes filled with tears, all while I was trembling violently. I was so scared, confused, distraught, and above all else felt so helpless. Jhinwoo was also in utter shock but still went to me, and pulled me close. This wasn't easy for a 3 year old to see. Or anyone for that matter.

But when you witness it first hand by the person who you thought was someone you could trust, the person who you thought would keep you safe, the person who you called father. HE was NOT my father, by blood maybe he was and from how many times he played with me, chasing me around this very room was capable of something like this made my blood run cold, and my stomach drop. Who I thought was my father was the person who he had just murdered in cold blood. All that talk about marriage and wanting a future with him that will never come just makes the whole thing even more fucked up. Yoonbum, you may not have been my real father, but I saw you as if you were, and I'm pretty sure Jhinwoo did too.

Seeing you in such a bloodied and horrifying state was probably the very last thing you'd probably would have wanted us to see. You took more than care of us, you loved us and treated us as your own, even if you weren't related to us. You didn't care and you were happy with all of us. Seeing you like that at 3 years old, a bloody, cold, dead body was hard enough for my 3 year old eyes to see. The sight immediately made me break down into a horrible state that I could not understand at the time. And now 13 years later I still can't, at 16 years old. It's still hard, it never leaves my mind, what you're final words could have been when Sangwoo stabbed you to death. Even I know at 3 years old I was too late, and even tho I couldn't do anything let alone understand, me and Jhinwoo were rightfully scared.

16 years old, and I'm sorry for the way I turned out, a huge burden to Jhinwoo, who I know would probably be better off without me. But I won't go. Not when I know that Yoonbum isn't resting in peace, he's still here, I see him in the bloody state I found him in when I was 3 years old. Every time I do I wake up in a cold sweat, knowing he's gone and that I will never feel his warm hugs, his love for us, I will never feel such a thing ever again, knowing that is hard but nothing but the truth, and when I do something I'll most likely regret, I will feel nothing, not regret, remorse, nothing because I will become a mind slave in my own body and end it all, knowing that I was able to bring Yoonbum to peace and be with him again.