How to Annoy Claude freak-tus

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by NikkuMichealis666

by NikkuMichealis666

A/N: Sorry for the inconvenience, this is not Sebastian, it won't let me change the picture, but if it ends up being Claude somehow then don't mind this quick message

If you must, you can, and you will, and you will love it dearly!

If your willing to annoy Mr fuck-tus, this is what shall you do:

1. When you are at the trancy's or living at the trancy's, and the turtle is harassing you in any way just call him; turtle that is trying to be a spider.

If he reacts to it harshly, and decides to grab your throat and manages to lift you up and strangle you, you are done for. Just so you know,

𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮

2. If you are still alive congrats. Here is your next advice: if you are a maid and you are killing spider's around the manor because you hate them, and going against your master rat-lois wishes, then here is a tip. You manage to have bug spray, get a water bottle and pour it in there. Next time you see Claude: just get his attention and when he looks at you give him the water bottle. If he asks you what it's for, just say: "I got water for you! You looked a bit thirsty! So I got some water for you!" Give him the sweetest smile you cam even if you hate him or hate it. If he drinks the ~WATER~ He will start to choke. If he starts to choke run away as fast as you can and run for your life. Just make sure you don't stand around or he might as well kill you. Just as well remind yourself 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮.

3. If your alive after attempting to kill him, well your lucky. Okay to the next advice: when he is cooking in that rediculous apron, or what ever that thing is. Just tell him: "all you do is make yourself look even more stupid in that thing wanna be spider." Then run.

4. Stare at him. Just stare at him. If he starts to get annoyed, then... run.

5. Follow him everywhere he goes. If he starts to ask you why your following him say "because" and if he wants the real answer just say "because'' just to annoy him even more.

5. Kill a spider in front of him. If he attempts to kill you then run for your life, if you die then I have no words.

6. Brag on how hot Sebastian is and compare that Claude isn't as hot as Sebastian. If he ignores you scream in his ear that Sebastian is cuter and hotter than him.

7. Buy a cat and name it Mr. Sebby-kins. It will make him mad. If he attempts to kill it then run with it for your lives.

8. Break his glasses and stomp on them. Just so he can wear the round ones to make him look stupid.

9. Kiss and simp over pictures of Sebastian.

10. Rub it in his face that he will never have Ciel's soul and make him annoyed.

11. Try and bend the golden butler knives, if not switch them with the sliver ones to make him mad.

12. Keep saying: "it's time to turn gold things, into black." And keep covering your left eye with your hand pretending your Sebastian. It will get him a hella annoyed.

13. At night, when it's dark, try to make the whole manor pitch black to scare rat-Lois. Continue this until Claude finds out then run to the phantomhive manor.

14. This is the last advice. Take a few weeks to get close to him so that he can trust you enough to play with his hair. I know it might sound weird but it's worth it. Okay so: ask him if you can touch his hair on both of your guys free time. So get hair bands, make him think you will do his hair. You have to get to close to him to do this. Okay and just tie his hair into very tight knots till the point he has to cut his hair. He