Within These Shadows || Park Chanyeol/Do Kyungsoo || Book 1

34

"Jay?"

A much younger but deeper voice brought Jay back from her trip down the memory lane. She turned to her right to see Do Kyungsoo walking up the stairs of the temple; a concerned yet relieved look on his face. The brown in his eyes reflected the brilliant orange of the west horizon, making them look hazel. She hadn't expected to see him there, but was somewhat glad that it was him who had found her.

"Jayline," Kyungsoo walked up the steps and stood right beside her.

"Kyungsoo." Jay replied, not breaking away her gaze from his.

The boy sighed before sitting down on the step below Jay's. He took his time before speaking up, thinking his words through.

"Jay, what's wrong?" His voice softened.

"What's not wrong in my life, Kyungsoo?" Jay chuckled and stared off into the west horizon again, eyes locked on the setting sun.

"Then tell me about them; I'll help you fix them." His words came out without any form of hesitancy.

Jay turned to look back at Kyungsoo again; she had not expected him to say those words, neither had she expected him to take her hand in his.

"What is it, Jay? You left without saying anything yesterday. You slept through the entire evening; didn't eat, didn't answer my calls or texts, and even skipped today's classes. What is it that's bothering you?" His face now held a look of understanding. He wanted to understand her, wanted to know about her pain, 'cause he didn't like to see her hurt anymore.

"Where do I start, Kyungsoo? Where do I really start?"

"From where your pain began."

Jay looked down at Kyungsoo's hand that held hers. Her hand was almost the same size as his. The way the veins on his hands popped out, it made them look really attractive.

"For as long as I can remember, I have heavily depended on other people all my life, just to be happy. I depended on my mom when I was younger. Then I depended on someone else after mom's death. And now I'm depending on Mae. It makes me wonder if I've ever lived a life of my own where I had the courage to take decisions on my own without the help of other people. Do I really have an identity? Or am I just bits and pieces of other people?" Jay sighed; the blue in her eyes had gone a darker shade as a single teardrop trickled down her cheek.

"Jay, we're all bits and pieces of the people around us. Some pieces are of people who we had met once in our life but they had a huge impact on us. Some pieces are of people who used to be a big part of our daily lives but are now only faded memories. Some pieces are of our family members, some are of close friends and loved ones. And then the pieces that are left, are of our own; the unique pieces."

Kyungsoo didn't know when he had begun to feel so much for Jay, but watching her cry, made him feel a pang of pain in his heart. And his hands automatically reached up to her cheeks, grazing them lightly as he wiped away the tears. He watched her blue orbs linger onto his brown ones, a little bit of surprise evident on them.

"Jay, you are an individual with an identity, 'cause if you weren't, I'm sure you wouldn't have this sarcastic nature of yours, or the ability to ask the toughest questions in class, or the undying devotion to your loved ones, or the superpower of literally vanishing for one whole day!" Kyungsoo chuckled, followed by Jay. It made him happy to see her finally laughing. "So, don't think that relying on other people is bad, as long as they love you. And anyone who knows you and Mae, should know that Mae would never, ever leave your side. She loves you a lot and you love her the same. However, I know you don't want to hamper Mae's life or her mental health. What you can do about that, is assure her that you're going to be okay by yourself. And that you'll change yourself, your old habits and become better." Kyungsoo smiled. "Plus, a certain Charmander will always be here to take care of you when needed!" He shrugged, a half smile on his lips.