The many emotions, thoughts, poems, insane ramblings, and legitimate concerns of a mortal. Warning: Most of it contains sensitive material related to death, darkness, life, monsters, puppets, idiots, and madness. Possibly much more. Hopefully much more.

(And you should be jealous.) Flower has always wanted a hot vampire boyfriend. But what's a high school sophomore to do when her Edward Cullen turns out to be more like Bram Stoker's Dracula?