❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

❝A book for comebacks.❞ WARNING// If easily offended please do not read this book as you might be upset by some of the content.

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

"I didn't ask to be in the middle of your ego-battle," I grumble. Blake pins me to my locker, hands resting on either side of my head. "Well, you got it in anyway, Darling," he whispers. His face is inches away from mine and damn me for licking my lips. I am NOT falling for these guys. And then, at the corner of my eye I spot Owen and his gang approaching. Well, that's just great. *** The West and East gang of Tygerwell have been at each other's throats since the dawn of time. And the two leaders of these gangs want to end the fight, once and for all. But fighting with fists is easy. Fighting with wit and charm, is a whole other ball game. Blake. West-side gang leader. Leather jacket and killer glare. Don't talk back. Owen. East-side gang leader. Fancy coat and toxic stare. Don't resist. And in comes Amber. Hair of gold and oceans in her eyes. Has too much sass for her own good and always, ALWAYS, manages to get into the middle of trouble. But these boys have no idea who they're really dealing with. And when Amber descovers she knows a little too much when it comes to guns and fighting, she has to question everything she thought she knew about herself. Three can play this game. *** "Let's settle this. You got rejected, I got rejected. It's only fair that the fate of the gangs be on who gets the girl first." "That sounds rather good, Rhodes. I'll take that bet on the golden girl." *** COMPLETED FICTION AWARDS: Best new story and best new account Highest ranking in Teen Fiction: #1 on 25/06/2018

She's a wild, free spirit who sees the good in everyone, and he's the hardened, bad-tempered loner who wants nothing to do with her-yet no matter how hard he tries to push her away, she's the one temptation he can't escape. *** He's never met someone with such a bubbly personality. Not to mention the wildness and odd phrases she says every five minutes. He hates it. He hates how he can't stay away from it. He hates what she does to him; it's not like him to chase after some girl. She gets under his skin like no other. She's never met someone with such a bad attitude. He's ill-mannered and menacing. The glare never seems to leave his face. Considering it all, she can't help but feel the attraction toward him. Dangerous attraction toward a seemingly dangerous man. Maybe it's the tattoos on his arm that gets her attention. Or maybe it's because she can tell there's hope for good under his rough exterior. And she's about to find it, whether he likes it or not. It's no secret that the two of them are complete and total opposites. *** "You like being called Sugar, don't you?" I tease, placing my toothbrush back after finishing. He does the same and gives me a side-eyed scowl. He grips my chin harshly and kisses me. My body temperature raises a good ten degrees and my right leg goes all wiggly. He pulls away. "You like it when I kiss you, don't you?" He teases the same way I did to him and I'm left blubbering. "I think both of our questions are rhetorical," I lower my voice up at him. His lip curls up into a smirk. *** #1 in Young Adult #9 in Badboy #1 in Cold #3 in Goodgirl #1 in Sweetheart #14 in Love *** *Warning* This story contains mature themes (language, scenes)

Now available in paperback! "I LOVE IT!" - CarniaHolmes "I'm going to break your nose, because I don't like your face," Carter said. She pointed to Zac. "I'm going to dislocate your other shoulder, just to make them even." She cocked her head and gave the main guy a sickly sweet smile. "I'm going to break your wrist, taking away your baseball career. And finally you, Finch," she said, looking to the last guy. "I'm going to bust your ankle because I don't like the way you walk." She slid her hands into her pockets. "Now, how does that sound to all of you? And please feel free to look amused, skeptical or patronizing at this point. I'll have all the more fun wiping the expressions off your faces." Carter Owens, daughter of a Secret Service agent, is trained to disassemble any weapon, any situation, and anyone. Her biting sarcasm and razor-sharp mind make her impossible to beat in a word fight and when talking doesn't work, she uses her fists. She attends Hamilton Prep, Washington D.C.'s most prestigious high school, where everyone is related to someone in power, except her. When Hamilton Prep receives a flood of new students, Carter's role as social outcast changes when she makes two unexpected friends. Friends who are hiding a secret. As Carter uncovers the truth, she confronts challenges she is unequipped to handle and finds herself in a dangerous situation. For a girl trained to see everything, Carter never saw this coming. "This is one of those books that seem like it won't be really good, but then it's mindblowing-ly amazing and then you're questioning life =)" - rwrites07 "#rr for like the 10th time haha love this book" - tahls16 "I loved this book, it wasn't cringey cliche or stupid. I normally hate third person books but I loved this and all the characters, especially carter." - lenathedov Editor's Choice Talk of The Town #1 Teen Fiction, #1 Fiction #1 Love #1 Completed #1 New Adult #1 Friendship #1 Funny #1 Drama

Katherine Solace has been hurt, toyed with, lied to, and completely heartbroken by her first love. And what does she do about it, instead of crying out her feelings like normal girls? She makes a deal with her brother that she'd make the four of the biggest playboys in her school fall in love with her and suffer like she did, of course. There's only one rule: She can't fall in love. *~* Highest Ranks: #4 on romance (12.27.19) #1 on players *~* Copyright 2019 ~ All Rights Reserved ~ ysabelunicorn June 7, 2017 - August 19, 2019

If you're judging this book by its cover and title, you're already proving the point this story wants to make. Try to move past this satirical obstacle in front of you. This is a story about bullying, and like the hundreds of other books on the topic, it will show you the harsh reality of being discriminated, belittled, ridiculed for something you cannot control- how you look, who you love, or what you believe in. But unlike these books, this story's sole purpose is not to tear your heart out of your chest as you mourn over your loss of faith in humanity. Instead, this book will make you laugh and love alongside these characters. Just like in life, there will be moments of dread and surrender, but there will also be moments of happiness, laughter, and love. - Naomi Lorraine, better known as Nerdy Naomi with her thick-rimmed glasses and straight-A report card, is the most unpopular girl in her school. Even with the help of her sarcastic comebacks, that doesn't stop her from getting bullied by everyone in Dartwell High. Every day her childhood bully, Raymond Meyers, knocks her off her feet, literally. However, she can't do anything but survive the laughs, insults, and bruises high school gives her. There are three senior transfer students, dubbed the Three Musketeers: Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch. All in one day, Naomi catches their attention one by one. With her snarky attitude, but innocent look, they can't help but want her. But not the way you're thinking. Oh no, not like that. Instead, it's probably the whole opposite. It's quite simple really. She'll be their good girl. And they'll be her bad boys. ~ [This story is a first draft written by a 13 to 15-year-old girl so it has its fair share of grammar mistakes and plot holes.] Wattys 2015 Talk of the Town Award Second Place Story of 2015 Best Humor and Overall Points of The Fiction Awards 2016 Third in the Writers Awards 2016 Highest Ranks: #1 Humor, #1 Teen Fiction

Completed. ☼ " Her denial, that was like a dam holding back a flood of feeling, of sweet relief for desperate soil, holding back a flood it stood no chance against, as yet another crack formed with a strong wave that already knew it had won. On the other side Marley stood, watching her dam's inevitable, impending destruction - fearing, knowing, that quenching her aching thirst would be synonymous with drowning, would be synonymous with coming up for air, would be synonymous with surrendering to a force of nature that was beautiful in all its calm, but terrifying in all its chaos. He absentmindedly tucked a loose flyaway behind her ear. Right then. Another crack in her last line of defence. Another rolling back of a wave, gaining strength, beating against the tired concrete. Another overflow rolling above the wall, droplets racing to sink into her every vulnerable place. Another enigma - still being afraid, while watching the water, and feeling the ache " ☼ Praise for 'Camp Where The Hell Are We?' "the fact that this book isn't just a book. it's a life lesson it teaches us the importance of friendship on how to be grateful that most of us live comfortable lives this book is such a masterpiece and deserves to be more recognized" - @voidtonkin "No book has changed or influenced me as much as this. Marley has inspired me to be more kind, forgiving and mature. Aiden has taught me to look for all the small things. Gabby showed me that real friendship is standing up for the other no matter what. Every book I read is a part of who I am, and this is one of the biggest parts. Thank you." - @ah-sh-ih-k-ah "I could feel every emotion, like I was standing right there, just on the outside looking in. Couldn't sleep until I finished this." - @justwonderfulbaby "You have such a beautiful and unique way with your words, I love this story so much and it and you deserve so much recognition. It's beautiful." - @hayleysfault ☼ partiallyprecarious, 2018

Completed. ☾ This is a SEQUEL!!! 1) 'Camp Where The Hell Are We?' 2) 'Cabin Fever' 3) 'Asterism' ☾ "I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you." - Kiersten White - ☾ Praise for 'Cabin Fever' "Marley is innocent and shy yet bold and righteous in a good way. And Aiden, he is the epitome of perfection. He's possessive, protective, loving, insecure but the way he loves Marley always makes me feel giddy. You are an amazing writer. I am looking forward to reading a lot of what you write in the future." - @nmadiwal "I've already read a lot of books, online and offline, but this is seriously the best one I've ever read! You're amazing and I adore this series." - @LaRosedeFrance "I've literally been reading this all weekend. IT'S SO GOOD! I love the characters and how real it seems. This is one of the best books I've read on Wattpad!" - @ILoveMyPony101 "Don't stop writing, you have a genuine talent that should never be forgotten." - @MrsBruceCampbell "This is seriously the best series ever." - @SRH1awesome "...this is literally one of my favourite books. I've fallen in love with your writing and the characters. They're so genuine and real and you've never made things forced like a lot of other romance books I know." - @dancincorn "All the detailed plot twists and descriptions of the characters make this book amazing and the way you've written it with all the heartfelt moments between Aiden and Marley make me wish it lasted forever." - @mkaydoris "Everything about these books are amazing! You are an extremely talented writer. This will forever be my favourite series to have read and my favourite couple." - @arianna1965 ☾ Copyright© partiallyprecarious, 2018