the many times new meets tay who seems to be always smiling and the time he isn't byeolid also available on ao3! (user: byeoli)

At a young age of eighteen, New was living the life of a teenage boy diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. With his life hanging by a thread, he realized that it was too short to be spent on memories that will only result in melancholy, and so he chose to live a life brimming with joy and contentment. He keeps with him a notebook that has all the things he wants to do before dying, and looks forward to cheking them off one by one. But on a bus ride to school on a normal day, he crosses paths with Tawan, a teenage boy who bears the weight of the world. And while his life is not bound to end by a terminal illness, he wishes to cease existing more than anyone else. When a boy wanting to make the most out of his life meets another who wishes to cease existing, will a lasting relationship ever bloom?

COMPLETED Highest Rank #1 in boyslove Kao had always been the cautious guy. Even after coming out when he was in eleventh grade, he had never actually experienced being "gay". He just came out of the closet but he stayed in his shell. He was always content being on the sidelines and had only wanted to finish college without a hitch. He somehow managed to play undetected until hot, bad boy, college jock, Pete took notice of him. Was there anymore glaring than being instantly the campus crush's boyfriend!?! Pictures and Characters are not mine. Credits go to their rightful owner.