STRONG LANGUAGE! If you're here to argue about men getting pregnant-save it. I don't wanna hear it, I don't care, and honestly? Your opinion will be left on read. This story is not for you. Now, for the rest of you glorious messes who thrive on chaos: welcome. This fanfic is a rollercoaster with no seatbelts, barely any plot, and vibes so unhinged you'll think I wrote it in a fever dream (I probably did). I made this disasterpiece for my sister Kely and my best friend Kayla. They like drama. They like tears. They like confused boys in love and questionable decision-making. So here we are. • Mpreg? Oh, you bet. • 18+ because these boys? They get busy. • Jimin is clueless and adorable. • Jungkook is just trying not to lose his mind. • There's angst. A sprinkle of self-harm. (Handled with care, but still.) • Jikook is endgame, even if it kills them (and you). • Vhope: Bottom Taehyung rights! • Namjin being married and tired. • Yoongi x Hoshi - don't ask, just enjoy (bottom Yoongi supremacy). • Fast burn like a rom-com on crack. • Slightly toxic, fully unrealistic, and aggressively fanFIC. And no, it's NOT omegaverse. Don't even try me.