The door slams open and Joshua fry Speed stalks in with a grimace. He grabs your throat and slams you into the wall. "Get away from my boyfriend b****" he growls. "Joshie!! Noooo" abe says, ripping him off of you, you gasp for air. ----- Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be involved with Abe Lincoln? What about if he was cheating on you? What about if he was an octopus? What about if you still loved the octo-man? Read this hot story to find out. TW: Abe Lincoln

It all started with a time machine