A modern day spin on the Jane Austen classic set in the Hamptons.

You want it all? And you want it now? Players? Vampires? Werewolves? Nerds and Jocks? Rockstars? Princesses? Kidnappers? Falling in love with your best friend? This short story has everything you're wishing for! Come in! Let's play: Spot the cliché! (Attention: Parody ahead. Read at your own risk.)

Well it's in the title really. Really crap at summaries, sorry. Luke falls for a beautiul red-head but everything goes wrong when he tells her he's gay. Through their friendship Luke goes through many events and what happens when he finally has enough?