"What are you doing?" -Seventh "Eating a bowl of soul."-Zero ".........Well then." -Seventh "I meant SOUP. A BOWL OF SOUP." -Zero "Yeah... sure, say it was a typo or blame it on the autocorrect." -Seventh "I'm laughing at my own failure right now." -Zero (Highest Ranking: #4 Humor 7.4.17)

Warning! This contains some hurtful opinions on the types of WattPad users. Read at your own risk.

"Give me ten days, and I can give you ten reasons not to die." Evan paused. "And if I can't change your mind by then, you can go jump off that cliff."

Me just ranting aimlessly about cliches and ridiculous things on Wattpad. And about every other writing site. There are cliches that I hope you can relate to. DON'T kill me. JUST writing about stupid stuff I see on Wattpad. NO hating to anyone. THERE are beautiful writers on Wattpad and I will not be afraid to list them out. EVERYONE is a gorgeous gremlin when they choose to be. Right now? I'm that gorgeous gremlin.

I'm pretty extraordinary (read: absolutely normal) for an average guy named Patrick- Patrick Kraker, and before you ask, no, I do not want a cracker; neither does Polly. Polly's sick of crackers. a) My summer job may or may not involve spray painting myself completely silver and standing motionless in the park. Of course not. b) I also may or may not be investigating and communicating with a homeless guy who is (possibly): one, not actually homeless and two, part of a cult of (probably) bloodthirsty satanic worshippers. *** Copyright © 2015 by unfurled All rights reserved #34 Humour Featured as of 28/04/16

Phones, light typing...and murder. Think breaking into show business is hard? Try landing a temp job without office skills. That's the challenge facing aspiring actress Isobel Spice when she arrives in New York City, fresh out of college and deficient in PowerPoint. After being rejected by seven temp agencies for her lack of experience, Isobel sweet-talks recruiter James Cooke into letting her cover a last-minute vacancy at a bank. New to his own job, and recently sober, James takes a chance on Isobel, despite his suspicion that she's a trouble-magnet. His misgivings are borne out by lunchtime, when she stumbles across a dead secretary in a bathroom stall. Can Isobel find the killer before he strikes again?

♛Wattpad Featured Story♛ The retelling of Cinderella through the eyes of the (cynical and perverted) pumpkin that became the carriage. ▶There is strong language in this story.◀

He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious? It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I know, it was all about to change. Follow me on twitter.com/aguywithnolife Please note, this story may contain mature humor that isn't suitable for all ages.

In the fall of 2007, a quirky, sensitive girl named Hannah had a crush on an insensitive jerk. And I was her father. In the summer of 1984, a quirky, sensitive girl named Emily had a crush on an insensitive jerk. And I was that jerk. Loosely based on a true story (well, several, actually) "The Idiot Who Ran Into A Tree" is a comedic, bittersweet tale of parenting, teen angst, summer camp and a quarrelsome oak. All the names have been changed. The nicknames, however, have stayed the same.