"Sure, it was robots this time. But who's to say that it won't be zombies next time? And when the zombies do come, who's going to be ready for it? Me." - Marietta "I mean, like, say what you want about the robots, but at least they weren't gross!" - Lila Welcome to the long-awaited sequel to the irreverent and uproarious 2015 Watty Award-winning EVERYONE DIED + MY iPHONE STOPPED WORKING! It's been three years since humanity was *almost* wiped out and the lucky survivors are now breathing easy, confident that they no longer have anything to fear from murderous robots. And indeed, they do not. But unbeknownst to them, there is another extinction-level threat on the horizon. It's a ferocious new enemy... and it smells terrible. Cover art courtesy of my ridiculously talented friend Dave Pressler. http://www.davepresslerart.com

In the fall of 2007, a quirky, sensitive girl named Hannah had a crush on an insensitive jerk. And I was her father. In the summer of 1984, a quirky, sensitive girl named Emily had a crush on an insensitive jerk. And I was that jerk. Loosely based on a true story (well, several, actually) "The Idiot Who Ran Into A Tree" is a comedic, bittersweet tale of parenting, teen angst, summer camp and a quarrelsome oak. All the names have been changed. The nicknames, however, have stayed the same.

*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!***** WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15) In the end, the robots win. But you already knew that. "Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't. Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels? You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see. I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done. Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)

After six new boys meet (Y/n), they begin an unhealthy obsession over the female and soon take it too far. There's not much chance of her escaping their thoughts or hands but she's definitely going to try when she's had enough.

WATTPAD FEATURED STORY Daniel Evans is trying not to let his crush on Jonah Clarke get in the way of their new found friendship, because Jonah Clarke is definitely not gay. Placed third in the Valentine's Day Contest hosted by @taygetsthegay