"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

**A Wattpad Cliche** Cover by @thatcyrusguy I actually love Wattpad. It is a really genius idea. But, I'm sure that I'm not the only one who searches for hours upon hours (okay, ten minutes) searching for that perfect non-cliche book. This is for all aspiring writers who want to know the don'ts (just the don'ts) of writing a wattpad book, and also for anyone who loves it when other people are made fun of. Fall in love with Lana as she stumbles through life as a clueless naive 17-year-old supermodel. Actually, don't fall in love with her. Because if you do, Braxton the guy she might (definitely will) end up with by the end of the story, will freaking kill you. Thank you for reading. Captain_Epic_Jen Find on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KNKCFVZ (Link in comments and Bio)

Liam; istg if no one sends nudes soon I'm leaving. PURELY CRACK W/ SOME FLUFF & SMUT

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!