CONTENT WARNING: This is a roast and comeback book so there is swearing and darker topics. This is a collection of roasts, comebacks and just general attitude I've either read on the internet or made up myself. Feel free to use them! Also sorry if there's any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors, I wrote this a couple years ago so I can't guarantee the quality. The cover art (kousuke) isn't mine it's Fanart that I found on ig that was so beautiful I felt it needed to be on the cover. (@mystic_celly is their username on ig)- that may not be their current username but I'm not sure. Start: April 21 2018 Finish:

Hilarious puns for everyone to enjoy! :)

this is a book about the phases of the moon like the full moon or quarter moon not a love fiction like all the other books called phases of the moon

Ezekiel loves dragons and the medieval times. And he loves graphic novels. But his favorite graphic novels are the dragon defenders novels. And his favorite dragon is the fearsome shadow dragon. the biggest, meanest, and scariest dragon of all. But Ezekiel finds out that he is an unusual boy. He has a monstrous appetite, he can eat more than he can fit in his mouth, he can fly, and he can breathe fire. And he has unusual looking eyes...could Ezekiel really be a dragon in human skin? Then he is taken on a journey to fulfill a prophecy, where he sees that all his favorite dragons are real, one by one! I mean, dragons can't possibly be real...or are they? Inspired by my friend's yet-to-be released 2012 dragon story

When good girl highschooler Ellie falls in love with an ex-convict, old family secrets come back to haunt them and keep them apart. ***** Living up to her "good girl" reputation had never been an issue for Ellie Browning, a small town Australian highschooler. That is until she meets Haze. Handsome, tattooed, and with a criminal past, he is everything she was taught to avoid. Unable to control their feelings, the two form an unbreakable bond that unearths family secrets and emotional turmoil for Ellie and everyone she has ever loved. With all odds against them, Ellie and Haze must ultimately choose between their love and familial obligations. [[word count: 150,000-200,000 words]]

Lily is a laidback slacker with a phobia for commitment...who happens to owe the devil her (nonexistent) firstborn. When the ruler of Hell comes knocking, what choice does she have but to let the devil play matchmaker? *** Lily has never been good at relationships, not that it matters to her. That is until Eve, a seductive woman claiming to be the devil's apprentice, shows up to collect a debt Lily doesn't remember owing: her firstborn child. Without a firstborn to give, and with the threat of eternal damnation at her heels, Lily finds herself on a chaotic matchmaking quest with the devil herself. Eve swears she's only playing matchmaker to collect the debt owed to her, but with each failed set-up, Lily suspects there may be something more to the devil's plan. [[word count: 60,000 - 70,000]] Cover designed by Joe Resch [[Wattys 2020 Winner]] Content warning: this story includes dark humour, mature themes, and scenes of violence and gore

"you are the best mistake i've ever made" billie, a famous superstar gets a text that was sent to her by mistake. the best mistake alex ever made. #1- billieeilish #2- lesbian