Peter Parker, now newly orphaned yet again after Aunt May passes away, is left with no one. After he gets left in one-too-many abusive foster homes, Peter decides to make his own rules and ends up annoying Nick Fury into giving him a job. Years later, 17 year old Agent Parker has accidentally texted a certain Black Widow. Peter's life becomes the definition of chaos and he is living for it.

When cinnamon roll Peter Parker gets stabbed in a very Petey way, he ends up texting a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist instead of his best friend Ned. What could possibly go wrong? (Cover art not mine. Also I don't own marvel or it's characters.)