When Selené Cortez told her crime boss fiancé that she would rather die than marry him, she meant every word- she just wasn't expecting him to call her bluff. Now, making his bodyguard, Anya, fall in love with her might just be the only thing that will save her life.

"Okay, so I'm the type of girl that's spent most of her adolescent, hormonal years reading steamy stories on some reading app. My favourite type of books? Hot Italian Mafia books. Don't ask me why, but there's something about a spaghetti speaking drug lord that's always been so hot to me. I grew up in Canada, a country that doesn't have that much linguini speakers. My goal: When I'm eighteen, I'm moving to America, finding myself a hot mafia guy in New York and making him kidnapp me, and that's exactly what I did." Malia is a crazy, smart ass, optimistic nineteen year old. She finally moves to America to pursue her medical student dreams. She has a decent job, but it's not enough to pay for her student loans and rent, so she does what any other human being would do- borrows money from one of the biggest mafia families in New York. When she's unable to pay off her debt, she finds herself in a situation that fourteen year old Malia would've killed to be in: she's on the Italian Mafia's radar. The D'Angelo family is dangerous, filthy rich and of course, Italian. Luca D'Angelo is a smug, cocky, arrogant, sexy mob boss- so basically Malia's dream guy. When she gets kidnapped by Luca in order to pay back her debt, it's a sick, twisted, steamy dream come true for Malia Nelson. It's every clichè, comical, cringy situation that's ever happened in any mafia book, all crammed into this pile of shit. How bad can it be? Includes: DADDY KINK BDSM A HOT PIECE OF LASAGNA BOYXBOY EVEN THO THEY ACT LIKE THEY AINT GAY BUT WE ALL KNOW ITS LIES TEACHERXSTUDENT TEACHERXCOWORKER TEACHERXCLASSPET THE TEACHER IS FUCKING EVERYONE A BOOK FILLED WITH YOUR DEEPEST DARKEST SEXIEST FANTASIES Disclaimer: This is a parody of every Mafia book written on wattpad. Enjoy!