"Please Jesus, free me of the spirit of lust." "I know that relationships built under your word can last forever. So free me of the thought, free me of the feeling and free me from my flesh trying to cloud my judgement." "I don't worship lust, sex or desire. I worship you Jesus, please don't allow me to lose sight of that." "In Jesus name, I pray." "Amen." I spoke desperately as I stood up from my knees.

"If you were really my best friend, you'd see that you were the only person I've ever wanted to be with. You've been dating everyone else while I'm just sitting around waiting for you to open your damn eyes!" I yelled at him as tears streamed down my cheeks. He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly confused. He then held a sympathetic look on his face when he saw how passionate I was about this entire situation. I can't believe he didn't realize all these years that he was the one I wanted to be with all along. "How was I supposed to know Riley? You didn't tell me shit!" He yelled back at me but still held his same sympathetic look. I shook my head at him, wiping my face as I backed away from him, stepping into a pile of snow in the process. There was already snow on ground but more snow had just started to fall from the sky. "Look, I have to go. My mom wants me home for dinner." I said turning on my heels and walking away towards my house. I didn't even bother looking back but I knew he was still standing there. I wondered if he'd run after me or if he'd sweep me off my feet like I always imagined but no, nothing. Just broken dreams and maybe even a broken friendship. *For hopeless romantics

WARNING: If you're too sensitive and overly precise, please do not read. *For drama and street life. *Needs editing. This book was written in 2015.

Ruffian 3 (The Trilogy)

"Halima just called me." She spoke up, talking about my sister. "She said your mom wanted to talk to me." "Oh yeah.." I trailed off, thinking about what my brother had just told me. "She wun' see you and Mya." I told her, already knowing what it was my mama wanted from her. "Yeah, I know. We just talked." She spoke surely as I licked my lips slowly, waiting for what she was going to say next. I already knew she wasn't feeling it. "It's just-" "I don't want to go down there and you-" She started but stopped as I waited for her to speak. "-you get involved with them again." She spoke truthfully, saying shit that I already knew she would. I already knew she was gone bring that shit up. She always do. "I don't trust Delante or any of your stupid ass friends because they are only interested in taking you backwards, Cain." "And I'm not going for that again." "I'm not." She spoke seriously and I sighed deeply, really used to hearing this shit already. "We're at a better place in our lives and I'm not playing those street games anymore."

"Could I talk to you for a minute?" I went on to ask Stokeley as he sat alone in the basement with a blunt in hand. "No." "Here we go again.." I mumbled to myself, discreetly rolling my eyes. "We just talked about this last night and you apologized, now we're back to square one." "Don't care." He blew smoke from his nose. "Alright." I nodded slowly. "..and you know what, neither do I." I spoke up, tired of him and his shitty, weird attitudes. He was just a big ball of negative energy and I was sick of it. Mostly because all he was going to do was turn around and apologize then expect everyone to forgive him. "Who you talking to like that?" "You." I snapped, fed up as he looked up at me with his eyebrows raised. The room grew silent, making this more dramatic than intended. He then stood to his feet, looking down at me with a scowl plastered on his face. "You better watch yo' mother fucking mouth." Deciding I wanted no trouble with him, I grabbed my stuff to go. "Sierra, I'm leaving." I spoke once leaving out of the basement. "Why? What's wrong?" She asked as she sat on the couch with Johnny in the living room. "I'm tired of him and his shitty ass attitude." I spoke truthfully, pointing towards the basement door. I was done curving my tongue. "Just because you lost someone important to you doesn't mean you can treat everyone around you like shit. We've all lost people." Everyone looked at me with wide eyes as if they'd never expected me to be this way but it was just how I felt. I needed to let it out. Unlike some people I didn't hold things in. "I'm leaving. I'll see you back at home. See y'all." I spoke, excusing myself and walking out of the front door.

"How are you supposed to keep your man with your hair in that mess, Tamia?" "And has your hair been looking like that all week?" She went on talking about my hair now, considering it was blown-out instead of well kept, hot combed and straightened the way that she liked. "No, mama." I dragged, annoyed completely now with all of my peace gone in this moment. "I just got out of the shower and I just finished washing and blow-drying my hair." "I'm going to hot comb it and then flat iron it when I'm finished doing my skincare." "Yasin's not going to be home until tomorrow probably anyway." I threw in there but of course she wouldn't chastise him about why and where.

"That's your fucking problem right there, Kai." "You want me to keep chasing you and I'm not doing that shit no more." He spat, looking into my eyes as I looked back into his. "You want to leave without letting me explain, then go ahead and leave, Kai." "I'm not stopping you." "But if you want this shit, Kai.." "Then come get it." He spoke sternly, unbuttoning his button down shirt as I stood there in shock, turning around completely to look up at him. Taking his shirt off, I watched as he stripped himself down as his muscular, tall, fit figure appeared and I can't say this man wasn't drop dead fine. Though I was so mad at him in this moment, my mouth dropped, looking at how good he looked. "I'm done chasing your ass, bruh." "You want me, come get me."

"So when you gon' stop playing and let me hit that shit, Zuria?" Mitch asked while he smoked a blunt in my mother's living room and we both sat on the floor. "Let you hit this?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I watched him blow smoke into the air. "Yeah." He smirked, cockily. "How about when you learn how to talk to your girlfriend?" I took the blunt out of this hands and smashed it on the ashtray that was on the coffee table. "Whatchu do that for?" He bit his bottom lip, leaning into me. "Hm?" He went on, softly biting my neck. "I've told you, you can't smoke in here, Mitchell." "You're really not even supposed to be here." I said to him, considering my mother did not condone boys in her house but here he was. He'd completely ignored me though as he mushed his head into my neck, leaving small kisses. "Stop." I whined playfully as he pushed himself up onto me and kissed my lips, pushing me backwards with our lips still attached. "Mitch." I spoke nervously as he climbed on top of me while I now laid my back onto the carpet. "Let me hit that shit, ma." He spoke softly into my ear as he continued leaving kisses on my neck. "Mitch, we cant. My mom will be home from work soon." I expressed to him but he ran his hands up my school skirt anyway. "Stop bitchin'." "Let me finally pop that cherry, Z." He spoke, putting his lips on mine as he slowly moved my underwear aside and rubbed his fingers against my Girl. "Mm." I moaned, unfamiliar with this feeling but it felt great. And though I knew my mother would be here soon, I no longer wanted to stop. He continued rubbing it as I laid there, looking up into his eyes. As I did, he smirked down at me and I smiled small, rubbing a hand down his cheek. I was so in love with this boy.

"Mama, I can't just leave Abir." I admitted, telling her exactly why I couldn't do this. Not only would she be snatching me away from my family and friends but she was taking me away from the person I'd loved for five going on six years. I couldn't just walk away from him. "Baby.." She trailed off, sighing deeply. "I know you love Abir." She stood to her feet to stop packing for a moment and pulled me into her. "But I promise you, there will be other boys. Right now you have to do what's best for you and that's coming with your daddy and I to give you a better life." "Better life for who? You?!" I screamed out, becoming even more angry at her choice of words. As if my feelings were robotic and I could just turn them on and off for any and every person. "My feelings just don't matter to y'all at all, huh?" I asked, crying harder than before now. "Speak to your mother with some respect, Giselle." My father spat to me and I shook my head, watching as they stood there looking at me like some dumb teenager. This wasn't puppy love for me. I didn't spend 5 years building something, just to walk away from it for their dreams. I couldn't do it. Sinner. Book #1