Before you judge me and my parents, Officer, I hope you'll realize that we were pushed to our limits. Some people are just, well, they're jerks. A domestic comedy of passive-aggression, gardening, birding, and a hot El Camino. Thank you for reading this Wattpad (formerly) Featured Story!

Death is ready to visit a new world! Based on the published novel and Wattpad sensation, Death is My BFF is now a webcomic! Experience the story like never before now only on WEBTOON! This is a VERY rough, early draft of "Death is My BFF" and the published version looks very different! :) ****** (2014 WATTY AWARD WINNER!) The legendary Angel of Death has spared Faith Williams' divine soul. However, this merciful act comes at a price. When she turns eighteen, her soul and everything that she is, will belong to him. The problem? Faith's not going to hell without a fight. Death isn't the only creature that has taken notice in her uniqueness. Demons, monsters, one vengeful demi-god, and a notorious playboy are all wrecking havoc on her life. Torn between two worlds, Faith must decide once and for all whom she can trust, and whom she can allow herself to love, before all of hell breaks loose. Even if it means striking another deal with Death. * * * FAQ: HELLO, YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON! :) You CAN read this story without reading the Original Death series. DEATH IS MY BFF REWRITTEN is a total rewrite of the first draft of "Death is My BFF", which I wrote when I was 14. The ORIGINAL series is on my profile, but it does not line up with this book. Again, the book you are currently on is "Death is My BFF Rewritten," which is part of the Rewritten Death Chronicles, and this book does not line up with the original Death series. Again, the Rewritten Death Chronicles will share similarities to the original series, but should be considered a SEPARATE from the series I wrote when I was 14! Please enjoy!!!!! Xoxo, Katarina E. Tonks * * * JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP FOR THE DEATH SERIES!!! (Thank me later!!! LOL.) https://www.facebook.com/groups/308207282529485/

Growing up in white-bread Omaha, Nebraska, Rachel Shukert was one of thirty-seven students (circa 1990) in Nebraska’s only Jewish elementary school. She spent her days dreaming of a fantasy Aryan boyfriend named Chris McPresbyterian, a tall blond god whose family spoke softly in public and did not inquire after his bowel movements. She spent her nights frantically plastering her bedroom with pictures of intimidating co-religionists such as Henry Kissinger and Bette Midler, hoping to repel the Gestapo officers she was certain were lurking behind the drywall. Even back then, Rachel knew she was destined for greatness. After winning the Omaha Metropolitan Area Theater Arts Guild Award for Best Youth Actress–and imagining herself as the biggest talent to come out of Nebraska since Montgomery Clift–Rachel finally arrives in Manhattan. Intent on making her mark in the glittering world of Show Biz, she isthwarted at every turn by episodes of anorexia, verbally abusive sock puppets, and a certain terrorist attack you may have heard of. She nevertheless soldiers on, as her people have done from time immemorial. In this hilarious, mordant, and moving memoir, Rachel Shukert tackles topics as diverse and weighty as life, death, love, Jewish paranoia, and errant feminine hygiene products with a fresh and irresistible mixture of humor, brains, and candor, proving that having no shame can sometimes be a very good thing indeed.

For centuries, Wonderland thrived as the domain of beautiful bedlam and unapologetic madness. It was a place like no other. All it took was one girl slipping in through the cracks of the universe to start chaos spiraling toward order. In the 150 years since Alice’s visit, the realm has become tainted—almost normal. Rabbits in waistcoats and playing card minions are little more than creatures of myth, and Wonderland is literally falling to pieces. For Gwen, Rose, and Lucky, Wonderland is home, and yet they know little of its former glory. When the Alice prophecy resurfaces, they’ll have one chance to use Wonderland’s own legends to bring a little mayhem back into their reality. For she who controls Alice controls the fate of Wonderland.

World War One. The Germans were easy. The zombies were much worse... It is March 1921. The Great War continues, with no foreseeable end in sight. The Central Powers control most of Europe, with only a thin stretch of French coastline still in Allied hands. A beleaguered Britain fights resolutely on, but everyone knows that without the continued support of the United States it would fall within weeks. Then the German invent corpse gas, bringing the dead back to the life on the battlefield, and the Great War becomes the Great Undead War with mankind now fighting for his very survival... (A prequel story to the Great Undead War series by Joseph Nassise)

Update: This story has been discontinued. - I am terribly sorry. Your mother lied to you. She told you that you were unique, and that as a teenager you have a whole bunch of options you can choose from to determine who you want to be. She must have been high. Look, I'm going to tell you this honestly. Somewhere out there in this floating sphere of green and blue, there's a person who acts just like you. It's the combinations of different personalities - which eventually lead up to an actual human being - that makes us all unique. But it can't hurt to find out where your personality stems from, right? Wanna know who you are? I'll help you out. There are 36 students in my classroom. Which one are you?

Available as an audiobook on audible, iTunes and wattpad band camp! Be sure to check the new version out to hear the characters come to life! "And rule number three, knock before you enter my room," I finished, moving my fore finger down with the instruction. His smirk widened as he leaned on my door frame. "What happens if I don't follow your petty little rules?" he asked. I narrowed my eyes. "You'll sincerely regret it," I warned but he merely grinned. "I take that as a challenge." Being the sister of Britain's most honored young scientist isn't something that Alex Simmons feels she can live up to. So, in protest of her parent's high expectations, she doesn't even try. That changes the day that she's forced to move in with her older cousin and his best friend to attend her final year of college. Living with one teenage male is hard enough, let alone a pigheaded,rebellious and drop dead gorgeous lodger. Asher Toms only has one goal and that is to reach the finals of his motorbiking championships. When Alex crashes into his life, concentrating on anything but his best friend's little cousin becomes increasingly difficult. As the pair grow closer through relentless bathroom battles, silly arrests and a set of rules to abide by, Alex figures out that there's a lot more to Ash than just a badass motorbike and a pretty face, some things in his past were meant to stay hidden. But what's a romantic adventure without a few obstacles?

Vanessa Laine is a college student and aspiring musician. She's got the look and she's got the voice. The only thing that's stopping her is her stage fright...and an opportunity. But opportunity knocks when pop-punk band, The Velocity, holds auditions for a new lead singer at the restaurant that Vanessa works at. Getting in was the easy part. Surviving as the only girl in the band is the hard part. Can she do it?