Growing up in white-bread Omaha, Nebraska, Rachel Shukert was one of thirty-seven students (circa 1990) in Nebraska’s only Jewish elementary school. She spent her days dreaming of a fantasy Aryan boyfriend named Chris McPresbyterian, a tall blond god whose family spoke softly in public and did not inquire after his bowel movements. She spent her nights frantically plastering her bedroom with pictures of intimidating co-religionists such as Henry Kissinger and Bette Midler, hoping to repel the Gestapo officers she was certain were lurking behind the drywall. Even back then, Rachel knew she was destined for greatness. After winning the Omaha Metropolitan Area Theater Arts Guild Award for Best Youth Actress–and imagining herself as the biggest talent to come out of Nebraska since Montgomery Clift–Rachel finally arrives in Manhattan. Intent on making her mark in the glittering world of Show Biz, she isthwarted at every turn by episodes of anorexia, verbally abusive sock puppets, and a certain terrorist attack you may have heard of. She nevertheless soldiers on, as her people have done from time immemorial. In this hilarious, mordant, and moving memoir, Rachel Shukert tackles topics as diverse and weighty as life, death, love, Jewish paranoia, and errant feminine hygiene products with a fresh and irresistible mixture of humor, brains, and candor, proving that having no shame can sometimes be a very good thing indeed.

Holly's new, young teacher has a dark past, and a dangerous future. She soon finds herself charmed by his ways, and gets thrown into the chaos. Who knew having an ex-gangster for a teacher could be so troublesome? As Holly and Mr. Heywood grow closer, more questions about his past come upon Holly, as does danger. What is Mr. Heywood keeping from Holly? And why is it so bad? But most importantly, if she falls for him, could their relationship survive? After all... it would be a proscriptive relationship.

NOW PUBLISHED BY SOURCEBOOKS FIRE! Sixteen-year-old Jackie Howard knows nothing about her new guardian Katherine Walter when she moves from New York to Colorado. After discovering that Katherine has twelve boys, Jackie fears that living in the Walter house isn't going to be easy. It's just icing on the cake that the boys look like models... Cover design by pizzazz-

Fantasy worlds... (2013) A writing exercise in visual sensations.

An anthology of love and lies; choice and change; fate and free will. Lives interlocking like clockwork and yet not at all like clockwork.

Okie's fifteen. She lives in New York. She's got a few problems: she's failing geography, her dad's a wimp, and her mother, Sumatra, is a stone cold bitch. But things get a lot worse when Sumatra turns into a zombie and eats Okie's dad. Clio, Okie's grandmother, lives in Toronto; but since the zombie apocalypse, Toronto's a lot further away than it used to be. Clio suggests that Okie transport Sumatra across the border, because family is family. But coaching Okie by cellphone isn't easy, and Clio has some zombies of her own to contend with. Luckily she has some garden tools. Naomi Alderman and Margaret Atwood team up for this unusual two-hander. Encompassing love, death, sex, and the meaning of family, The Happy Zombie Sunrise Home will surprise, delight, and convince you of the vital importance of keeping ready supplies of rhubarb and mini-wieners in your freezer at all times. The story unfolds beginning October 24.

[Featured] [Highest rank #2 in Horror] [Featured by @TheExorcistFOX] Exclusive to Wattpad! "Whatever you do, don't let them inside." Liam is a new father struggling to adapt to life with a baby. Growing more sleepless and paranoid with each passing night, he wonders if the taps on the windows and mysterious faces at the door are all in his head. He'll find out the terrifying truth when the black-eyed children knock. When the Black-Eyed Children Knock is a superbly suspenseful read. You'll never hear a knock at the door at night in the same way. Also includes five other short horror stories.