As every good atheist I read the bible and I was like, you know what, I want to massacre and brutally mangle this sacred text in the name of its fanfic potential, so of course Jesus has a feet kink (who washes feet for free like c'mon), I know he's canonically asexual but hey I needed some headcanons for the fic, sorry. Judas enjoying kissing men is common knowledge like fr. No offense to Christians out there ofc. As it's probably obvious this was the result of a dare and I aim to make the most kinky, profane, toe curling, cringey, shitty yet well written take on the bible to ever exist, enjoy. Also maybe I'll put mpreg. I'll see how I feel.

This is the work in progress of my cult's holy book. I'm just here to spread the word of Sky Daddy.

pls take my phone away