They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

"When your brother finds out what I do to you behind his back we're dead." "Then maybe I should stay on my knees so he doesn't notice." *** Everyone wants to see the sunset. It's something so beautiful and enthralling; so close but so far. I've been running after my sunset like my life depended on it. He's in my bed but not my heart, and I don't think he will ever be. If he was, we would both pay an unimaginably penalty. Then again, don't the best things come from under dangerous circumstances, waiting for the hatchet to drop? So I'll keep hunting, but some prizes are never meant to be captured.

"I'd much rather have my head between her legs than yours." *** SEQUEL TO CONTRONYM Life is never kind to the broken. Then again, aren't we all broken? I've faced the sexists, the egotistics, the rapists, the catalysts; everyone is an asshole in their own right. Sadly, I'm maxing out on how much more hardship I can take. Griffin Riley used to be my enemy and the cause of my many headaches but now he seems to be my pain medication that takes the aches away. But nothing good can last forever. Maybe we'll be the exception. A girl can hope. But between the stress, high stakes, jealousy, fights, trials, the media, school, life changing scares, and most importantly; Lacrosse, our relationship will be put through the ringer. I just hope we aren't smushed to death.

"I know I'm hot, but keep your legs closed, Mason." *** "Fuck you." I panted out at him. His mouth moved to my ear, sending a chill down my spine as he whispered. "I think the correct phrase is 'fuck me'." **** Contronym: Opposites in the same mold That's what Sylvia Mason and Finn Riley are. After moving to the highschool lacrosse capital of Connecticut to play men's lacrosse, Sylvia is faced with the pain in the ass Captain, Finn Riley. They both hate the very idea of the each other and can't even hold eye contact without making snide remarks. They both want the other gone no matter what but they also have undeniable similarities in their mannerisms. They are sheer opposites but they are also identical. He was her darkness but also her light.

Kimberly Taylor was a quiet, shy girl with no friends growing up, until Kindergarten when Asher Knight changed that. It's now been eleven years since they've become best friends, and they both have come a long way. Asher Knight has become one of Jefferson High's players and all-star jock. Popular, good looking, funny, and an expert kiss ass. Kimberly Taylor is an intelligent and hard working girl, opposite of Asher's popular status. With average looks to cover her extreme case of nerd. With the two being such close friend, will the cost of being best friends with Asher be her love life? Will Asher lose over a decade of friendship to Spencer Grey? Will Kimmy stand up and finally tell Asher the truth? It's a tough yet fun ride being Best Friends with the Player.

"I'm in love with you." How many times would I have to think about this, how many times, before she could hear it, feel it, see it in my eyes? "I'm in love with you." How could I make her see without telling her, without scaring her off... without losing her. I couldn't lose her.

Lexi Grayson is a normal teenager, as normal as she can be with her unobserving skills and her overthinking mind. But she might need the overthinking if she wants to unravel the smirking mystery that is Blake Eaton.

Aiyla Winston is a seemingly normal teenage girl living in her own world. Then one night turns her world around when she finds out she is their heir to the English throne all while juggling the struggles of high school.

Holland Johnson was always flown under the radar in a family full of outgoing people. She thought she had her life planned out until one wild night where she vows to find out who she really is. She leaves behind what other people want and starts doing what she wants. But nothing can go too smooth in the world of fame especially not with a few bad boys in your way. - I just want to see you shine 'cause I know you are a Stargirl -

For the past eleven years, Jade thought she lived an average life. Sure her mother was the typical strict parent who knew how to let loose every now and then, but that's what all protective mothers do right? But it only one wild party and a visit to the police station to find out that she was a milk carton kid. "You were kidnapped when you were six, the woman who you thought was your mother is not your mother." Her whole life and her identity are stripped away from her. A girl can only take so much.