Losing Macy to death is an experience that can only be described as an excruciating and soul-shattering agony. It's the kind of pain that seeps into my very being, infecting every part of my existence with a numbing emptiness. Every breath feels like a struggle, every thought a battle against the memories that haunt me. I find myself replaying every moment I shared with her, wondering what I could have done differently, and wishing I could turn back time. I try to cling to the hope that maybe, just maybe, there was something more I could have done to save her, but deep down I know that there was nothing that could have been done. It's a pain that never truly goes away, a wound that never fully heals. Instead, it lingers, a constant reminder of what was lost, and what could have been. I will never love again. I will forever stay where Macy left me broken... Rest here with her... But as soon as I pledged an oath... I heard her whisper, "Love again, Ivan." That's impossible, Astrid... I will never. Started: December 20, 2023 Finished: January 3, 2024 Published: UNDER HBP Status: COMPLETED Follow me on my socials for more updates. IG: smnthawsm Twitter: awsmbi FB: Samantha Claire Lim Radaza | awsmbi Email: claire.radaza02@gmail.com Book cover by Marc Aragona.

Letting go of someone I love for the sake of her happiness with someone else is a pain that cuts deep into the soul. It's a constant ache that never seems to go away, a reminder of what could have been, but never was. Shaniel and her love were never mine. Watching the person I love more than anything walk away from me and into the arms of another is a pain that can only be described as a gut-wrenching agony. It's a feeling of emptiness and despair that suffocates me, leaving me feeling lost and alone in a world that suddenly seems so cold and unforgiving. Every moment feels like a struggle, every memory a painful reminder of what was lost. I tried to move on, to find happiness in other things, but nothing seems to fill the void that was left behind. In the end, all I can do is accept the reality of the situation and let go, even though it feels like tearing a piece of my heart out. I'm broken but it's okay. She can always break me all she wants. I am hers and my heart is with her anyway. But then the coldness around me was swept away by the warmth that embraced all of me. She pulled me in. "Hug me back, Drex," she softly plead. No, Laya... I can't cage you with me. Started: December 20, 2024 Finished: November 19, 2015 Published: Status: COMPLETED Follow me on my socials for more updates. IG: smnthawsm Twitter: awsmbi FB: Samantha Claire Lim Radaza | awsmbi E-mail: claire.radaza02@gmail.com

The pain of being unable to move on from Shaniel, even after so many years, is like drowning in an endless sea of sorrow. It's a feeling of being stuck in time, unable to move forward or find peace. The memories of my first love linger like a stubborn stain, refusing to fade away no matter how much time passes. I know that I shouldn't hold onto the past, but the thought of letting go feels like a betrayal to the love that once was. It's as if I am trapped in a cycle of hopelessness and despair, unable to find a way out. I see the life my best friend and my ex-girlfriend have built together, and I know that I should be happy for them, but it's like a dagger to the heart. It's my karma for pursuing her, even though I knew my best friend had feelings for her first. I feel like the lotus from the dirty water, forever tainted by my past love and memories, and unable to rise above them. But then my window covered with a heavy curtain allowed a light to seep through that it blinded me for a second. "There's hope for us, Doc Pierce." Sasha giggled like it was ridiculous, but she sounded hopeful. And like a lotus from the dirty water...I wish to grow and find light against the murky water that I am in... Broken me can hope, right? Started: Finished: Published: Status: COMING SOON Follow me on my socials for more updates. IG: smnthawsm Twitter: awsmbi FB: Samantha Claire Lim Radaza | awsmbi E-mail: claire.radaza02@gmail.com

Leaving someone I love for the sake of my own salvation is a pain that consumes me from the inside out. It's a feeling of helplessness and despair that suffocates me, leaving me gasping for air in a sea of regret and guilt. I thought I was doing the right thing, that by saving myself, I would be able to save her too. But I was wrong. She drowned. And now, all I feel is guilt. Guilt for not being able to save her, guilt for surviving when she didn't, guilt for not realizing how much she needed me until it was too late. All I want is to have her back, to tell her how sorry I am, and to make everything right again. But I know it's too late. The pain of losing her is a wound that will never fully heal, a constant reminder of what could have been, and what was lost. "I want you broken like how broken I am, Kahel. I loathe you." There was so much rage in her voice that I just want to breakdown right then and there. "Then I beg you to break me, Vica..." Started: Finished: Published: Status: COMING SOON Follow me on my socials for more updates. IG: smnthawsm Twitter: awsmbi FB: Samantha Claire Lim Radaza | awsmbi E-mail: claire.radaza02@gmail.com

Pushing someone I love away to keep her safe is a harrowing experience. It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest as I try to resist the urge to hold her close. Every moment with her is excruciating because I know that I am going to have to hurt her. I screamed for help, hoping that someone will hear me and take the burden off my shoulders, but no one seems to care. The girl I love heard my cries once, but I cannot let her in on the danger. I have to be strong, even if it means breaking my own heart. I would break just to protect her. I clenched my fist so tightly that my thumb tucked inside my palm, a silent cry for help that nobody sees. "Miso, I'm here!" I closed my eyes as I remember her eagerness to help. I wish you were still here, Czarina. But I need to do this. I'll break ten folds just to protect you. Started: Finished: Published: Status: COMING SOON Follow me on my socials for more updates. IG: smnthawsm Twitter: awsmbi FB: Samantha Claire Lim Radaza | awsmbi E-mail: claire.radaza02@gmail.com

Being insecure can be a crippling experience, especially when it drives away the person you love. The agony of not giving my girlfriend enough attention while dealing with my own demons is unbearable. I can feel the distance growing between me and my once-close partner, and it hurts more than words can describe. My insecurity stems from a deep-seated belief that I am not good enough, that I am a disappointment to those around me. I have always felt like the black sheep of the family, the never-seen son. I've always wondered why I never measure up, but now I know the reason, and it's a betrayal that cuts to my core. The pain of realizing that I am a secret shame my family kept from me, is excruciating. I can't accept it, and I feel like a bastard, unworthy of anyone's love, especially Coachella's. She's everything I am not, and I can't bear the thought of tarnishing her perfect life with my tainted presence. I fear that if I stick with her, I'll only end up making her feel the way I made my mother feel, like a failure. So, I pushed her away, unable to see that I'm only hurting her more. "You are such a bastard asshole, Izo!" I am though... Funny how I just learned that I am a bastard. And hearing it from her mouth... is the downfall of me. Started: Finished: Published: Status: COMING SOON Follow me on my socials for more updates. IG: smnthawsm Twitter: awsmbi FB: Samantha Claire Lim Radaza | awsmbi E-mail: claire.radaza02@gmail.com