Collection of 'Funny Text Bloopers'.

[Before you begin reading just a quick warning; this story has painfully slow updates, it is also very cliche but it does improve as the story goes on] When Jade Everett was ten years old, her first kiss was stolen by Jared Felton. Six years later Jade has still not forgiven him, although she doesn't really have to worry about it seen as she knows she will never see him again. This all changes when none other than the Jared Felton enrolls in her school, looking more gorgeous than ever. Jared quickly becomes worshipped at Eastwood high, despite his bad attendance record, awful attitude, low care tolerance for school and the cocky smirk which never seems to leave his lips; he still finds a way to make everyone in a 10K radius fall in love with him. Well, everyone except Jade. And Jared is willing to do anything to change that. Can Jared win Jade over, or will he always just be the boy who stole her first kiss? ♥My Stolen First Kiss reached #1 on Teen Fiction 20/8/14 ♥My Stolen First Kiss reached #1 on Humor on 20/8/14 [Story will be properly edited when completed]

Miss Perfect, Courtney Collins, has everything a teenage girl could ever wish for. She has the Pretty Face, Perfect Figure, Popularity, Fortune, Friends who follow her every command and a Super Hot Boyfriend who's madly in love with her. Ultimate Geek, Chad Treyson, is a typical teenage boy who only wish for a peaceful senior year. He is the Smart Guy with goofy eyeglasses, wears lousy shirts, grade conscious, living a normal lifestyle, a musician and a certified bookworm. Put the two together and set a game. A game of love. Who fell in love first will lose. If Miss Perfect falls for the Ultimate Geek, is she willing to leave her spotlight just to be with him? And if Chad falls for Courtney, is he ready to deal with lots of drama and attention? Who will win and who will lose? Is it the Beauty or the Geek?

My son doesn't remember. He just doesn't. And yet, before he was even in kindergarten, he could read. I don't understand the human brain...

Growing up in white-bread Omaha, Nebraska, Rachel Shukert was one of thirty-seven students (circa 1990) in Nebraska’s only Jewish elementary school. She spent her days dreaming of a fantasy Aryan boyfriend named Chris McPresbyterian, a tall blond god whose family spoke softly in public and did not inquire after his bowel movements. She spent her nights frantically plastering her bedroom with pictures of intimidating co-religionists such as Henry Kissinger and Bette Midler, hoping to repel the Gestapo officers she was certain were lurking behind the drywall. Even back then, Rachel knew she was destined for greatness. After winning the Omaha Metropolitan Area Theater Arts Guild Award for Best Youth Actress–and imagining herself as the biggest talent to come out of Nebraska since Montgomery Clift–Rachel finally arrives in Manhattan. Intent on making her mark in the glittering world of Show Biz, she isthwarted at every turn by episodes of anorexia, verbally abusive sock puppets, and a certain terrorist attack you may have heard of. She nevertheless soldiers on, as her people have done from time immemorial. In this hilarious, mordant, and moving memoir, Rachel Shukert tackles topics as diverse and weighty as life, death, love, Jewish paranoia, and errant feminine hygiene products with a fresh and irresistible mixture of humor, brains, and candor, proving that having no shame can sometimes be a very good thing indeed.

At 8 ¾ months pregnant, Tracey Parkes has everything she wants in life. A nice house, even if it is a bit on the small side, a long awaited baby on the way and a reliable husband to boot... Well, as reliable as a husband can be when he's keeping a long held secret - a secret she's desperate to uncover. But with Jonathan continuing to keep schtum over the whole thing, Tracey is forced to turn to his past for answers. And it's the unfortunate death of his old friend, Malcolm, that provides her with just the opportunity she's been waiting for - an opportunity she soon wishes she hadn't taken. Of course, the last thing Tracey expects is to find both herself and her humongous belly squashed into the back of a classic, little Mini - all in a desperate attempt to catch up with three men on two vintage scooters. But with Jonathan seemingly hell bent on facing up to a past he's spent years trying to forget, what choice does the mother-to-be have?

(Must Date the Playboy Book 2) Tori tried her best to move on from the playboy who broke her heart. But just as she thought she was finally okay, Zach unexpectedly came back to mess her up. In order to stop her feelings from resurfacing-and to save herself from hurting-she decided to hate the playboy. But is hating the playboy the key to her happiness? Or will it just cause another heartbreak? *** When Victoria 'Tori' Peige dated the playboy Zachary 'Zach' Anderson based on lies, they sure have paid the price. After being left heartbroken by him eight months ago, she is finally ready to move on. Just as she gives James a chance, Zach comes back and messes up her life again. Will Tori choose to be brave and be honest with her own feelings? Or will she continue hating the playboy even if her heart tells her otherwise? Cover Designed By Lydia Carr