One fateful night, your teacher, the Duolingo owl, invites you over to his home to tutor you for a Spanish test in two days. He discovers shortly into the session that you neglected to practice your vocabulary words. Again. He's angry. Very. Berry. Angry. With you. Will you get adequately punished? ~~Read this story to find out~~

Your entire childhood you have dealt with a hallucination the presence of a six foot penguin. One day you go on a date, and they ask you "so what's the deal with the penguin"