***Previously Wattpad Featured Story*** Meet your run-of-the-mill protagonist: Main Character. In this fantasy (spoof) of an epic adventure, Main embarks on a quest to conquer the world, guided only by the words of a drunkard, and a bolt of red lightning. It soon becomes clear that the twelve-foot troll travelling with him is only the start of his increasingly bizarre list of sidekicks. Rising to villainy is harder than it looks, Main realizes; plot twists give him vertigo, and hard work is migraine-inducing. But still, there's a world to conquer, fangirls to run from, and love to fall slave to. What could possibly go wrong? COMPLETED

Brian Walker, the IT guy at a small government contractor, has two problems. First, he hasn't had his morning coffee, and second, a strange voice in his head claims an alien invasion is underway. Solving the least pressing of the two should be pretty simple, but that leaves the coffee issue to deal with! Still, what if that voice is telling the truth? Brian's lunch buddy, Dale, thinks so-but then, he also thinks the government has been putting mind control drugs in the water supply. After deciding to trust the voice in his head, all he needs is a first-rate team to face off against the aliens. He ends up with a Princess Bride fanatic (with eyes for him), a conspiracy theorist, and a cosplayer. Follow Brian and his ill-equipped band of office workers, as they try to save the world from well-meaning aliens that have finally lost patience waiting for the human race to kill itself off.