Haru Carter, a 15 year old transgender boy, has always felt there was something different with him. But something always didn't add up. He never knew what it was. Until one day he started having thoughts. Suicidal thoughts. "What if I'd jump in front of the next passing train? What would happen if I'd slice my throat? Would I die? Would someone even care?" These happened a lot more than 'that one day'. They were constant thoughts in the back of his head. Even though he himself never knew if he was suicidal, he found comfort in these thoughts. Like they were meant to be there. Along the way Haru discovered way more disturbing information about himself that no one would ever even think about such a sweet boy.. Haru, along with his 20 year old brother Jay, live in a hell of a household. Their mother Leilani left them due to their father being abusive. She couldn't take her children with her due to some reasons at court. Greg Carter finds another woman, Grace, who acts like Haru's and Jay's mother. She's not the same as Leilani. She's very much the same as their father, dare they still call him that. Haru's best friend Cameron Miller commits suicide. What that does to Haru has many effects on him, even Jay who's worried about his little brother taking Cam's death very badly. Will Haru ever find a way out of the mess-of-a-life he has? Or will he end up lost.