Other Profile's Fantasy Stories
18 stories
The Body Politic by JanGoesWriting
JanGoesWriting
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Politics is a cutthroat game, but when you're dead, it doesn't matter what they cut. And it is a dirty game, filled with the kind of people that think nothing of ruining an opponent's life, but few go so far as throwing their counterparts through windows. When Balmy Bymeadow is improbably murdered, his son, Myld, is forced to carry on his father's legacy, but, in order to do so, he must take the unprecedented course of keeping his dead father around. Aided by Finella, a uniquely talented taxidermist, her sister, Flinda, a self-appointed Fairly Gods-Mother, and Phibber Monkshot, a wily and incredibly competent civil servant, in his corner, Myld must navigate the torrid waters of politics, deal with his surprisingly mobile dead father, avoid several near-death experiences and learn what it requires to get elected in a city where politics is quite literally a life or death struggle. With a pinch of 'Yes, Minister', a dash of 'The Walking Dead', and a heaped spoonful of 'Discworld'.
Master of the Keys [ONC 2026] by JanGoesWriting
JanGoesWriting
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When a mage is found dead, and, at a rough measurement, at least a head shorter, the only clue to his fate lies in the key gripped in his hand. A very magical key that sets the leaders in the Guild of Mages, Prestidigitators, Illusionists and General Wielders of Magic (not including Witches) in a bit of a quandary, because none of them want to touch it. Thus, the investigation is left in the thoroughly incapable hands of the three mages in the highly dangerous, very almost deadly on a daily basis, Thaumatological Gubbins Department of the Guild. Accompanied by a young(ish, these are mages after all) member of the Guild tasked with recording the progress of the investigation, the three mages set out on a perilous journey that will involve several belligerent doors, a three cart race, and, probably, a number of people wondering what the Hel is going on and why one of the mages continues to shout 'Power!' at every opportunity. An ONC novella like no other.
Revels End by JanGoesWriting
JanGoesWriting
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Wilmuh Tremblerod knew from a young age that she would become the world's greatest playwright. Unfortunately, the world, and her talent (or lack of it) disagreed. Until one day, Linus, a young and relatively untrained muse finds her in a bar and inspires her to great things. Of course, she isn't the person he intended inspiring, but everyone makes mistakes. With the subsequent loss of Linus' powers, Willmuh's ability to write compelling and mesmerising plays runs out of control and an alarming number of people decide that Wilmuh has become some literary god, meaning that her very creativity becomes a danger to the world. When a competition is announced to find the kingdom's greatest entertainers, Wilmuh chooses to use her new-found talents to seal her place in history. But with rival entertainers and people in authority rallying against her, Wilmuh may find it harder to achieve than she first thought, and her troupe of wayward and strange thespians may not be able to stop the world from falling under her accidental-spell. And there are faeries, too. But watch out for them, they're really shady. Contains a gratuitous and shameless parody of a Doctor Who episode. I'm not even sorry.
Reign, Dear by JanGoesWriting
JanGoesWriting
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Festivus time is here! By golly! After an avoidably unfortunate incident involving an unnecessarily large cat, with an odd way of choosing its prey, a lazy ogre, and a decision against getting knees cold, a set of brothers, long since thought gone from the world, set out to bring their itinerant feline home before things get really, really messy. Unfortunately, the Festive Boys can't stop themselves from following their Festivus instincts and the village of Drippings on the Lea have no understanding of what's coming. With a reluctant queen, an even more reluctant witch, who isn't really a witch at all, a permanently confused farmer with a rabid fear of thinking, and a reindeer called Civilolph, who has no idea why he's pulling a haywain, the villagers of Drippings on the Lea attempt to get in on a little Festivus miracle, even if they have to fight for it. Deck the halls, not your neighbours!
The Archivist's All-knowing Almanac by JanGoesWriting
JanGoesWriting
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There's nothing more dangerous than a book, especially in the wrong hands. And, in this world of magic, wars and an alarming number of self-serving, gratuitously selfish people, there are a lot of wrong hands to take advantage. When the world's foremost mage, Anpound Pudbatter (fresh from a magical accident that had turned him back into a teenager with all the associated raging hormones) meets Gammer Goodhiding, the world's most polite, yet indefinably terrifying witch, and Bindi, a Druid who almost has a filthy mouth, they come together to search for an object that could very well spell the end of the world as they know it. Or change it in ways they cannot imagine. From the intermittently high Mount Pintel, to the vast, unending Library, to the indeterminately located city of Lost Vagueness, where hope, and Coin, go to wallow in despair, to the world's most important, prominent, and tiniest city, the three of them must follow the magical chaos wrought by the presence of the book. And with warlords bent on conquest, thieves out for a quick score and a djinn with a mischievous attention to detail in the way, things may not go quite according to plan. And what, exactly, is the origin of the book? Only The Archivist's All-knowing Almanac knows for sure. A love-letter to the works of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. [Cover created in Canva, using an AI generated image from a stock clip art and text from Logokit]
Lore & Augur [ONC 2025] by JanGoesWriting
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When a fellow witch is accused of a heinous crime, Rowburta Copperbottom. A witch of minimal magical ability but a thirst for knowledge, must investigate the allegations and then prove at a trial the innocence of her colleague. But, with mysterious enemies trying to thwart her at every turn, Rowburta must rely on far more than her witchly magics to aid her in a race against time to prove that justice isn't just blind, but not averse to a little monetary tipping of the scales, either. Rowburta has more than magic to help, she has the lore. A tale in the Terry Pratchett inspired Godworld, where people are about to meet the world's first Witch Loreyer. An ONC novella, based on Prompt 14: "Not everyone in your coven becomes a witch doctor. But you? You are the witch lawyer and take care of the mystical laws of the magical world."
I Am War [Ambys 2025 Grand Favourite] by JanGoesWriting
JanGoesWriting
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After surviving a long, brutal war, Barrin and his lover, Kahri, attempt to lead a normal life, until a sorcerer with terrible ambitions tears them apart. In a desperate search, Barrin forges a path of death and destruction across the cruel and pitiless land and will not stop until he reunites with the only person he has ever loved. His enemies will soon learn that Barrin cannot be contained. Cannot be stopped. He is more than a love-lorn man. He is war! A swords & sorcery epic in the vein of Conan. 🏵️ Ambys 2025 Grand Favourite 🏵️ 🏵️ Pride Pick/Finalist - FreeTheLGBT's 'Pride Awards' - July 2025🏵️ Cover created in Canva, using an AI generated picture adapted from stock photo.
A Scoundrel's Song by JanGoesWriting
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[Book Ten of the "Patrons' World" series.] Niico Fastiano's latest scheme to enrich himself had come to an ignominious, and surprisingly painless, end. Not one to let small things, like getting thrown out of an upper story window, get in the way of his attempts to make coin, he takes on the job to escort a pair of unlikely siblings, Akafa (a man with a body that physically perfect marble statues can only envy) and Herit (a child with only a passing association with reality), across the country of Larissa. Along with long-time collaborator, Pelenia, and Antioni, a love-sick man that Niico can't seem to brush off, and he does try, they travel the lands pretending to be a troupe of entertainers as Niico tries to perfect a song that will resonate through the ages. Or not, due to several distractions. Distractions such as a cult of violent priests chasing Akafa and Herit, a family that have a less than legitimate, but quite understandable, disagreement with him, a penis festival, several spears pointing at his face and water that appears to have a personal grudge against Niico. Niico, however, is nothing but determined. Especially with the promise of a fat reward. Except he's not quite certain he'll survive long enough to spend it. The 10th novel set within the sprawling fantasy "Patrons' World". Cover created in Canva, using an AI generated picture.
Guardian of the Night by JanGoesWriting
JanGoesWriting
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[Book Nine of the "Patrons' World" series.] In the city of Adrasusk, Captain Bilain 'Bil-Hook' Grasall had protected The Sprawl for much of her adult life as a member of the Ward Watch. When a Senator is murdered, she finds herself tasked with seeking out the people responsible and bringing them to justice. As the investigation becomes ever more complex and deadly, Bilain is drawn into a conspiracy that could threaten the entire city, her beloved Ward and her family. Navigating the complexities of a diverse city, politics and an untouchable wealthy society, Bilain sees her skills stretched to the limit. And when a mysterious, powerful vigilante stalks the streets, roofs and alleyways of The Sprawl, Bilain's life only becomes ever more complicated. Cover created in Canva, using an AI generated picture.
Kaguta - Or, Ankūro - The Warrior, The Thief and The Killer by JanGoesWriting
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[Book Eight of the "Patrons' World" series. Part three of the Ankūro Trilogy.] War and drought ravage the island of Kaguta! Amid the turmoil, two people on separate journeys, Kō and Saiban, travel the island in search of the fabled warrior, Ankūro. Desperate to find her ... and kill her. Along the way, they both become entangled in a conspiracy that could have devastating consequences for the entire island and, coming together, they must unravel the mystery to save themselves, their allies and their loved ones. But what of Ankūro? Will the old warrior oppose them, or aid them and, if she does, what of their thirst for vengeance? The epic novel, inspired by the westerns of Sergio Leone, that brings to a close the Ankūro trilogy. A "Patrons' World" story. See also: 'Ankūro' and 'Siinji'. Cover created in Canva, using an AI generated picture.