Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

"The moment that Jordan Shearer steps into the classroom, Lee knows that he's not from around here." Preslash short between two boys from two very different backgrounds. Ingredients: two cups of Glasgow Patter; one teaspoon of NED; a tablespoon of callow middle class; a cup of general teenage incompetence; and an entire quart of UST.

This is a life-long love story between two boys told in snippets. *** "What are you doing?" "Everything. Being. Belonging with you. Just like I always have." Highest Ranking: #358 in Romance

▪WATTPAD FEATURED STORY▪ Otto is a young artist, blowing where the wind takes him in life. He can see sounds, expressed as bursts of color. His art is good, yes, but it's missing a muse. Max is a cheerful waiter with curly crimson hair and hazel eyes. He is hardly ever seen without a smile on his face, and when he enters a room, the air shimmers. When Otto meets Max, he discovers that true love is certainly real, and it has a color. Highest Ranking: #86 in Short Story *** ONE: Hazel TWO: Home for the Holidays THREE: ♥ FOUR: Joey FIVE: Moonshine SIX: Max SEVEN: The Ick EIGHT: Poison-Ivy Green NINE: C O M I N G S O O N

Jay is no longer a competing ice skater. He was at some point, so long ago that it seems like a forgotten memory. Now, though, he lives in a smaller town, with smaller minds, and less room for people like him. He sneaks to skate on the frozen lake in the wintertime. Will is new, which is rare in and of itself. But there's something about his ginger ale hair and bubbling laughs that call Jay to him. And, Will is happy to have the company. Jay, slowly, is learning to call Will his place to belong. *** Part 1: Kissing Will Part 2: Kissing Will Pas de Deux Part 3: Christmas Special Highest Ranking: #126 in Short Story

Jayne Hughes owns a pet-shop and is known around her neighborhood to tame any animal. One day she gets a strange customer that asks her to tame his pet, she agrees to his request and waits at home to meet his animal. Jae expects this to be just another misbehaving pet, but instead she gets an attractive man stuffed in a box! The strange owner, Hopper, is actually apart of a company that sells these 'pets' to people. The problem is though that their company got four new pets that are too dangerous, so Hopper begs Jae to help tame this 'pet'. She reluctantly agrees, and this starts her story of how she must tame Amadeus, the first man of the four 'pets' she must tame to be a behaving 'animal'. [COMPLETED] [REVERSE-HAREM]

Chip Honeycutt has a girly name. That's not the problem; his real problem is hiding the fact that his family owns a bakery. And that he loves to bake. What will happen when a new guy comes along and finds out his secret? Will he tell everyone? Or will he keep it? © 2015 by theCuppedCake. All rights reserved.

Evan was a shameless womanizer. Both handsome and charming, he'd never had a problem getting a girlfriend and never cared about losing one. So when he met Sascha, the simple but pretty florist, he didn't have to try too hard to get a date. Unfortunately for him, Sascha wasn't exactly his type of "girl". He still finds himself drawn to the florist and refuses to give up on his quest to gain Sascha's affections, no matter how many times he's rejected! A short, sweet story about a jaded florist, afraid to fall in love again after having his heart broken one too many times and the stubborn man trying to show him that some things are worth the risk.

Eli didn't think much about the city's newest so-called hero, but he supposed Vigilante wasn't all that bad. Granted, he was kind of a jerk and if he ever tried to kiss Eli again he was definitely getting punched. A story about a starving college student, making a living serving coffee and the local vigilante with a crush. - - - - - - - - - Highest rank #1 in Action, Wattys 2016 winner in the Trailblazers category! Featured 6/3/2016-7/23/2017