Born with glowing green eyes. Destined for rotten luck. Peasant girl Meya Hild was 'given' the opportunity to become a Lady. At swordpoint. By mercenaries. Engaged to a dying nobleman. Poisoned with one month to live. Tasked to loot a castle. In a kingdom running out of resources. Little did Meya know this shenanigan would lead her across land and over sea, from a mountain made of sapphire to an island shrouded in spiral clouds, with masquerades, heists, kidnappings, shipwrecks, alchemy, romance, and an unexpected 'bump' along the way. Let the misery begin. 🐉 🎯 PROGRESS: Book One (Chpt. 1 - 65): 100% Book Two (Chpt. 66 - 125): 100% Bingers, YOUR TIME HAS COMETH. Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7iYf3f78K4QInWwpz6z3Mp?si=35Rt2vgkTryCM3vD9eKVXA&pi=cE-JGby3RgeKW 🎨 Cover: @NamtanTangren / Namtan [糖人] https://www.deviantart.com/tangrennamtan 📋 Content Guidelines: Most chapters are safe for work/school. Chapters containing intimate scenes will be marked with ❣️ Although not depicted explicitly, this story touches on mature subject matter such as depression and suicide, drug addiction and overdose, human trafficking, organ harvesting, abortion and rape. It's also loosely based on medieval times, and some scientific misbeliefs (concerning health and pregnancy, etc.) are present. Young readers are urged to use discretion. ⭐ DOs & DON'Ts ⭐ 💖DO: Add LUMINOUS to your library & follow me so you don't miss any updates! 💖DO: Comment away! I love answering them. Please be polite and respectful! 💖DO: If you enjoyed Meya's adventure, spread the word! 🚫DON'T: SKIP THE PROLOGUE! You have been warned by the dragons that be that you will regret it! Why don't I just rename it "Chapter 1"? BECAUSE PROLOGUE SOUNDS COOLER!

Criminal necromancer & vampire private eye team up to solve the case of the missing barista. *** When a client drops dead in her fortune telling parlor, 'reformed' necromancer Isla has no choice but to illegally resurrect the poor gal. Your girl's got priors, alright? Hiding a corpse will send Isla back to the slammer. The client's just a Tourist, so Isla is certain nobody will notice. But you know what they say: The only things certain in life are death, taxes, and a handsome vampire poking his fangs where they don't belong. Gregor, a vampire private detective, has been hired to find another vamp's misplaced favorite bloodbag-- I mean, barista. Greg knows the fraudulent and distractingly attractive psychic, Isla, is the key to the barista's whereabouts, but he just can't put his fangs on what it is she's hiding from him. If her little whoopsie is discovered, Isla fears both the otherworldly authorities and an ancient vampire will have her throat. So she does what any girl would do in her situation. She hires Greg to find the risen barista for her first so that she can undo the resurrection. Sparks fly and blood splatters as Greg and Isla investigate Philadelphia's secret paranormal society, throw literal bones at the werewolf mafia, commune with the spirits of dead vampire-brides, dodge arrest by the magic fuzz, and occasionally pop off for late night cheesesteaks. The Vampire Always Bites Twice is the Wattys 2022 Grand Prize Winner! The "Bites Twice" Mysteries 1 - The Vampire Always Bites Twice 1.5 - Doubull Indemnity [revised version coming soon) 2 - Shadow of a Curse (Coming Fall 2025) This book contains explicit sexual content, paranormal violence, animal harm, and gore.