"I've never been with a woman before." I was an echo chamber to her words as I made my admission shyly, looking away as my face grew hot with embarrassment. I wasn't lying. I never had been with a woman before. Especially not an older, well respected and successful woman. Vivian Black took me by my chin, forcing me to look her in the eyes, "Let me change that." I watched and allowed her to trace circles into my hip, "What about the men I told you about? She let out a small laugh, her lips now on my neck and her hand in between my legs, "I'll make you forget all about them."

saudade /souˈdädə/ noun a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost; the love that remains ============================== this is a sequel to "trouvaille" the description contains spoilers, so read "trouvaille" first :) ============================== three years after ending things with billie, ag is now working as a therapist. she's finally starting to get better. but she still thinks about what could've been. ============================== lowercase intended ============================== started: 5/6/2021 ended: 5/22/2021 ============================== achieved: ? #1 in #billieeilish 5/24/2022

Ava DaSilva is the quiet, straight-A student-introverted, drama-free, and perfectly content with just her sister and her best friend by her side. She keeps her head down, her grades up, and her heart locked tight. Then Billie O'Connell transfers in. Tattooed, fearless, and carrying a reputation that makes people whisper. Billie sees Ava and decides she's hers-no negotiations, no exceptions. Nothing will stand in her way. But Billie comes with baggage: a gang-affiliated life, dangerous friends, and secrets that could burn everything down. Ava has never been one to chase trouble, and Billie is trouble in every way. Is the pull between them strong enough to survive Billie's world... or will it be too much for Ava to handle?

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙɪʟʟɪᴇ ᴅɪᴅ ꜱᴇᴇᴍᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴏʀ ꜱᴍɪʟᴇ, ɪɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ꜱᴏʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴡᴀʏ. ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀꜱ ʜʏᴘɴᴏᴛɪᴢɪɴɢ, ʜᴇʀ ɪᴄʏ ʙʟᴜᴇ ᴇʏᴇꜱ ꜱᴇᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴀɢɴᴇᴛ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ ᴘᴜʟʟɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏᴡᴀʀᴅ ʜᴇʀ. ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ ɪɴ 50 ᴅᴀʏꜱ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴍʏ ᴘʟᴀɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴀ ɢɪʀʟ ᴘʀɪᴇꜱ ʜᴇʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ɢᴏ ꜱᴏʀᴛᴀ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ. ɪ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʀ, ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴅ. ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ. ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ꜱʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴘᴇ ʙʏ ʜᴇʀꜱᴇʟꜰ. ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɪꜱ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ɪɴ ᴀ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ, ɪᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴏɴᴇ. ᴀ ʙɪʟʟɪᴇ ᴇɪʟɪꜱʜ ꜰᴀɴꜰɪᴄ. -ʟᴏᴡᴇʀᴄᴀꜱᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ

Charlie returns to the neighborhood of her childhood and meets a girl who will change her world. Can she change Billie Eilish's world? 𝑨 𝒏𝒐𝒏-𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚. 18+ content.

baby. i could get used to calling her that. a story in which two life long best friends fall in love. TW: - self harm - depressive themes - abuse

Billie seems happy. She's getting better after her last breakup. She meets a girl through Finneas and Claudia. What happens next? Read to find out! This description sucks but bare with me please. This is Sub!Billie for my top babies. I hope you enjoy! #1 billieeilish 9/26/2021

ʟᴜᴄɪᴀɴᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ʙɪʟʟɪᴇꜱ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ɪꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴅᴏɴᴇ. - ꜱᴇQᴜᴇʟ ᴛᴏ "ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴅ", ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ʙᴏᴏᴋ! ꜱʟᴏᴡ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇꜱ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ: ᴀᴘʀɪʟ 3, 2020

"ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴀɴᴅꜱ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ꜱᴛʀɪᴄᴛʟʏ ʙᴜꜱɪɴᴇꜱ." - ʟᴜᴄɪᴀɴᴀ ᴅᴏᴠᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀꜰᴜʟ ᴍᴀɴ ɪɴ ꜰʀᴀɴᴄᴇ ɪꜱ ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴛ. ʙɪʟʟɪᴇ ᴏ'ᴄᴏɴɴᴇʟʟ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ (ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴀᴅᴏᴘᴛɪᴏɴ ᴇᴛᴄ.), ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴜɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴɪᴇꜱ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʟʟ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ ᴛᴜʀɴꜱ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ A ʙᴜꜱɪɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴅᴇᴀʟ? - ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ ɪ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴇɪʟɪꜱʜ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ɪ ᴜꜱᴇ ʜᴇʀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇ. ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ : ᴊᴜʟʏ 22ɴᴅ, 2019 ꜰɪɴɪꜱʜᴇᴅ : ᴍᴀʀᴄʜ 23ʀᴅ, 2020