Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

❝we are all searching for someone whose demons will play well with ours.❞ quiet rituals and even quieter conversations; a collectanea. (© promethean 2013; cover by promethean)

“ a collection of hallucinations ”

Ever had Ramen Noodles for an entire month? Lilly Fenster has and she's tired of it. Which is why she ends up managing the fashion industry's hottest Brazilian model. Lucky her, right? Not really. Lilly can't stand the intolerable Joshua Lachowski . Heck, she can't even pronounce his last name, much less manage his professional life. What happens when the nerd enters the fashion world and meets the biggest jerk imaginable? Mayhem, Ramen Noodles, and love. That's what.

Renee Griffin is gorgeous, loveable, undeniably popular, and has an uncanny ability of getting everything she wants. She is a cunning seductress, a loving daughter, a prima donna, and a cold-blooded murderer. This is not a story for the faint hearted. This is the story of a 21st Century psychopath. "'You've killed,' he breathed. His eyes had grown big, so big that they barely fit his face anymore. He didn't resemble Nathan at all. He was pathetic, and cowardly, and weak. 'I have.' Silence and darkness threatened to crush us both, the sound of his uneven breathing piercing through my eardrums. I didn't bother hiding anything in my demeanour - it was a relief to let the darkness out, to let it slip out of every pore and every cell. He was going to die. His next words were quiet, so quiet, that it could have been drowned out with the faint sound of cheers coming from the stadium. 'You're a monster.'"

Jesabel is a liar. When her only friend mysteriously disappears, she does what comes naturally. She keeps her truth from the world. Without warning, she is thrown into a web of lies far more dangerous and lethal than anything she could imagine. With an annoyingly charming boy by her side, can she unravel what she refuses to tell - the truth? WHITE LIES HAS BEEN REVISED, EDITED AND REWORKED! Happy late new year, friends! I'd like to take this opportunity to announce that White Lies, a story that has been up and running on Wattpad since 2011, has been re-written and revised for the coming decade. What does this mean? This entails the same characters you know and love, with better flow, better writing, more nuanced character development, more mature content, and entirely different plot lines. Jesabel's character has changed drastically since I last introduced her to the world (nearly NINE years ago! yikes!), and I wanted to make this story a more nuanced and modern take. When I had written White Lies, I had been just 14 years old. And I've done a ton of growing, learning, and unlearning over the years. This means that my characters have grown and developed with me. If you are an old friend and re-reader - welcome, and please enjoy the same old story you love with a brand new take! If you have started along this White Lies journey beginning in December and all throughout January, you might have read a half-edited and half-original version of the story. So please feel free to re-read at your leisure! I won't bite, I promise.