Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE ON AMAZON AND BARNES&NOBLE! THIS IS A SAMPLE OF THE PUBLISHED BOOK. _____________________________ Livvie Jefferson is lame. If it weren't for the secret list of crazy things she'd like to do, she'd be less interesting than a piece of stale bread. Harvey Lockwell is a God. An unattainable God. Livvie's content with staring Harvey down from afar and wiping the drool from her chin, until everything changes when she's forced to have actual contact with him during their after-school tutoring seasons. In a cringe-worthy chain of events, Livvie's boring life turns into a catastrophic mess when Harvey ends up finding her secret list. Things take another turn for the worse when Livvie accidentally runs away from home while on a high-speed chase straddled to the back of Harvey's motorcycle. Not only does she have to endure the embarrassment from being caught with a bucket list at the ripe age of seventeen that includes losing her virginity, but she also has to figure out exactly what Harvey ended up doing that caused them to be chased out of town by a band of criminals and how to fix it. Crazy house parties, grungy motel rooms, unexpected make-out sessions, bad dancing, and a scandalous twist are just the beginning. For a girl who's never done anything remotely exciting, Livvie Jefferson is in for some pretty bad things.

What happens when the Greek god of dreams grows tired of his job? Easy. He trains his replacement so he can finally quit. But on a routine dream inspection, Morpheus runs into Gwen-Stacey Reynolds, a regular mortal whose dreams are anything but, and like her dreams, Gwen-Stacey is funny, outrageous, and has the uncanny ability to see right through him. Morpheus will spend his final days with Gwen-Stacey and in her dreams, he'll discover what he's been missing all this time. Dreams may not be reality, but this jaded dream god is about to find out that true love can find you anywhere...even in your dreams. **Copyrighted Material: God of My Dreams (Formerly titled: I Only Date Superheroes) Copyright © Wendy Nelson 2012 All Rights Reserved. No part of this literary work may be reproduced or used without written consent from the author. ***All images, videos, photos, superhero and movie characters belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement or violation is intended by their use.

Kaila Hataway is a book worm, who trys to keep to herself. Reading has always been her escape, ever since the day her dad was attacked and killed in front of her. After a year of living in a place where her dads memory haunts her, she and her mom decide to move to a new town for a fresh start. She trys to keep her head down and blend in, but thats near impossible when the school's badass is claiming that she is his. Suddenly, Kaila finds herself thrusted into a world where werewolves exist, and where death is lurking just around the corner. Primal insticts arise, and Kaila has no choice but to give into her desires.

"I am not your mate," she snapped angrily. She couldn't believe the nerve of this arrogant presumptuous asshole. He actually thought he was her mate and had a right to her. He was bossy and cocky about her. She would never accept him, he was the reason why she had left the pack. "Do you think me some ignorant and cocky alpha who wouldn't recognize his mate because he was so caught up in his own glory?" he asked in outrage growling at her. he took an aggressive step closer. She took one step back and glared at him. "Yes as a matter of a fact, I do," she growled in reply. "You may be alpha of the pack but we are so not going through this again. I'm not coming back to the pack and I don't need or want you. I am my own alpha." He laughed with derision and stared into her bedroom blue-green eyes. "You say that now but you and I both know that one kiss from would send you to your knees, begging for more." Arianna MacAlister is a eighteen year old high school senior. She has it all a hot bad ass boyfriend, a reputation as a bad ass loner and her music and guitar. She knows exactly where she's going and what to do. She chose a long time ago to leave behind her past and everything that was entitled with. With her secret that only her and her family knows of and the new alpha over her pack. Then comes Eric Sanchez, the alpha of her old pack and her supposed mate. He wants her to come back to the pack and to take her place as his mate, she refuses. She doesn't want anything to do with him but how can she keep saying no when every time he touches her, she gets a tingling feeling inside. How can she say no when with each and every passing he becomes more and more appealing, while her and her boyfriend grow distant. With another alpha on the scene who wants to also claim her, a shifter hungry tracker and every other obstacle in the world seeming to get in her way, how can Arianna do what she set out do in the first place?

"Rule number one," He whispers, pulling back to look me right in the eye, "Never let your guard down." He flashes me a cunning smirk as I stare at him, stunned at what he had just done. Only, he makes a mistake of turning to see what everyone else ahead of the bleachers is doing. I smirk and take a step back forcefully. Just as he turns his head back to face me, I swing my arm at his face. "No. That's rule two," I snap, "Rule one is never turn your back to your opponent." Faye Williams is not the type of girl who would call for the attention. However, she calls things as she sees them. Faye's not afraid to use her fist, for that's all she's ever known. Some call her a good girl while others call her a rebel. What most people don't know is that she's witnessed things that not many people get to witness. With an unstable mother who blames her for a needed divorce, she's seen, heard, and knows plenty. It's not until she moves to Miami, Florida with her dad, that trouble arises. Let's just say that the odds are not in her favor, especially when it comes to that notorious 'bad kid' Travis. Yet, for some reason, she feels that fixing the bad boy will mend herself. When a powerful gang leader, a notorious bad boy, vengeful mother, and two faced acquaintances enter the equation, Faye knows there's nothing to save her now. *Copyright © 2013* All rights reserved.

"You promised you'd never hurt me, you said I could trust you" My voice broke as tears stung my eyes. Klyde glanced at me before pulling a cigarette out of his pocket, how I hoped he'd just kill over from lung cancer. "I lied," he said simply. I glared at him; he wasn't supposed to be this. He was supposed to be different, he did more than lie. He violated my trust then threw it in my face. All I saw was red as I ran towards him, with all the power I had I pushed him against the wall. Klyde had let me; I still have no idea why. The cigarette fell out of his hands and his fangs flashed as he hissed at me. He flipped us and had me pressed against the wall, my pulse pounding in my ears. His fangs were so long, he looked so scary, my bottom lip beginning to quiver. "Get it through your head, I'm not prince fucking charming. I'm a real, blood-thirsty, soul-less, vampire." His face was so close to mine, his cool breath on my lips. "Don't forget liar" I whispered.

Hi, Jade here. Pretty, popular, perfect. The three words nobody is and everyone wants to be, including me. But you see, everyone has their own vision of perfection, and you can never live up to all of them. So some might say I was the girl who threw away her pathetic life for a disgraceful one. Others might say I was the lucky one. The one who finally succeeded on her mission to perfection. But sometimes it's hard to remember that the higher you rise, the more distance there is to fall. Behind all the closed doors, everything doesn't seem so perfect. I realised that too late. Jade has been trying to escape her own life for as long as her dad left her. But nothing seems to work. LIving with an abusive mother and a past full of tears, she knows she can't go on like this much longer. After meeting Eric, it only seems to get worse and every protective layer she has built around her comes crumbling down. Torn between sweet Eric who seems to find a way to uncover her deepest secrets and bad boy Connor who she just can't get out her mind. Even after getting her heart broken by him. Twice. Even her newly found fame is only turning out to her disadvantage. Can she get anything right?

SNAP, a multinational celeb TV show and magazine, is the holy grail for Maxie Gwenoch. When she snags the job as managing editor, she’s looking for fame, fortune and Jimmy Choos. What she finds is a media empire owned by Baron Kandesky and his family. A family of vampires. They’re European, urbane, wealthy and mesmerizing. And when she meets Jean-Louis, vampire and co-worker, she’s a goner. The Kandesky vampire family rose in Hungary centuries ago. They gave up violence and killing to make a killing on the world’s commodities markets and with that beginning they built SNAP, an international celebrity multimedia empire. Now cultured…and having found food substitutes for killing…they’ve cornered the world market for celebrity and gossip journalism. They haven’t fully left the past behind. Their Hungarian neighbors and rival vampire clan, the Huszars are starting to ramp up attacks, maybe looking to start a war to take over all the Kandeskys have built. Maxie believes she’s found her ultimate career. She doesn’t realize that she’s found a family feud like none other, a centuries-old rivalry between vampire families, with her as the linchpin. Bells ring with Jean-Louis, but she doesn’t realize they’re alarm sirens until she learns that Jean-Louis is second in command of the Kandeskys…but by then it’s too late.

A martial artist is the best in her class. While staying out late one night, she gets attacked and her defense is put to the test. But no matter how great you are at karate, it doesn't compare to a gun against your head. Annabeth has no choice, but to follow and obey her attacker, Eli. He is creating a gang and is forcing others to join. With Annabeth's skills, she stands out above the rest. Eli is attracted to her and can't help but want her to be the second in command. His leading lady. Will Annabeth join his gang or use all of her strength to escape?