❝I swear, people are the cause of cancer.❞

❝In which dorky, quirky, super-duper nice and anything-but-cool, Liam Argent, transforms into a loud, arrogant and belligerent bad boy in hopes of catching the eye of a girl who's clearly not worth it.❞ Copyright © 2014 All Rights Reserved. [extended summary inside] [very ROUGH draft: plot holes, grammar mistakes, and missing words]

Misunderstood and overmedicated, twelve-year-old Lilith Bloom finds the prospect of a grand family reunion decidedly dull... That is, until she discovers that the rose garden surrounding her grandfather's Berlin mansion is, well, completely and utterly carnivorous. Armed with Panther, her talking pet whippet, and the help of the mute boy next door, Lilith must unravel the secrets behind the mysterious estate, all while her family remains gloriously unaware that they are about to be devoured.

* 4 Sample Chapters * When an eccentric old neighbour dies and names Violet March in his will, she is even more surprised than his estranged and spoiled family. To make matters stranger, she learns that all must attend a pretend murder-mystery weekend for any to claim a share of the inheritance. Being a good sport under constant scrutiny and suspicion becomes trickier when she finds herself torn between the romantic attentions of both the deceased's "favourite" grand-nephew and the charming black sheep of the family. Loyalty forces her to favour the former, but when it is the latter who inherits the bulk of the estate, a grave case of mistaken identities is revealed leaving Violet to determine whether pride and an unwillingness to be labelled a gold-digger may stand in the way of the love of a lifetime. *Cover from "Lake Louise, An Alpine Wonderland" by Norman Fraser, which is to the best of my research and knowledge in the Public Domain. *No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the express written permission of the author.

What would you think if you received letters from someone and it seemed they could never be caught? This just so happens to be Delilah's problem right now. The police have been able to do nothing to help her until they suggest that she be sent away to Bentwood Institute for Boys to go into hiding. But being the only girl in an all-boys school for delinquents isn't exactly as good as it sounds. After entering the school, she finds herself being stalked again. But as she looks for answers, secrets start to unravel.

All Ed needed to become the Internet's latest boyfriend was a chili-pepper costume. But getting sunny foreign-exchange student Audra to prom will take a lot more than that. Ed doesn't know he's beautiful. But he is. Even when his crazy boss forces him to wear an "extra-spicy" chili pepper costume as part of a May 5th promotion. It was only meant to be an after-school job at a low-key Mexican restaurant; Ed never signed up for abject humiliation. And when a lovestruck girl snaps a covert picture of Ed while he serves her an enchilada, he couldn't possibly have anticipated becoming the internet's latest imaginary boyfriend. The fame is immediate and disorienting, but if it helps Ed convince quirky foreign exchange student Audra to attend prom with him, being "Enchilada Ed" might not be so bad. (Formerly Ignorance, Bliss, and Mexican Food)