*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!***** WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15) In the end, the robots win. But you already knew that. "Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't. Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels? You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see. I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done. Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)

"Sure, it was robots this time. But who's to say that it won't be zombies next time? And when the zombies do come, who's going to be ready for it? Me." - Marietta "I mean, like, say what you want about the robots, but at least they weren't gross!" - Lila Welcome to the long-awaited sequel to the irreverent and uproarious 2015 Watty Award-winning EVERYONE DIED + MY iPHONE STOPPED WORKING! It's been three years since humanity was *almost* wiped out and the lucky survivors are now breathing easy, confident that they no longer have anything to fear from murderous robots. And indeed, they do not. But unbeknownst to them, there is another extinction-level threat on the horizon. It's a ferocious new enemy... and it smells terrible. Cover art courtesy of my ridiculously talented friend Dave Pressler. http://www.davepresslerart.com

With a princess killer to catch, a host of fairy-tale characters to wrangle and a crumbling career to resurrect, fallen hotshot Agent Fields has his hands full. And that's before the case leads to a story-obsessed, dimension-hopping scientist, hellbent on world domination. **** Dumped, demoted and assigned to the mysterious Section F, Fields' number one priority is reversing his sudden career-slide. Even more so after meeting his new partner, the borderline dangerous Agent Peregrine. A specialist in the Agency's most unconventional cases, she suspects the victims in a recent spate of murders are fairy-tale princesses from other worlds. And her prime suspect is story-lover and quantum-science genius Dr Frank Featherstone. Suspecting his partner is crazy, Fields' scepticism begins to wilt when the case leads to a comatose prince, a wisecracking witch and a very much alive princess, with a mean kick to the codpiece up her sleeve. What begins as a murder investigation spirals into a jaw-dropping, dimension-spanning race against time, as the two agents and their new offsiders battle monsters, dodge dragons and receive a first-hand hardcore lesson in fairy-tale lore, while trying to bag the bad guy - and just maybe save the world. *Formerly a Paid Story/Wattpad Original (so you know it must be good, huh?) but now free!*

Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive! ***** When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left? For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time? [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

Four bad boys, Ayden, Hayden, Brayden, and Okayden, try to form a school club to learn how to fight their bad boy instincts, or succumb to cliches trying. ******* When Ayden's six-pack appeared when he was nine, he realized that he was born to be a bad boy. Far for embracing it, he has dedicated his whole life to avoid every cliche in the book, from girls with mysterious pasts stumbling into him in the hallways, to always changing schools to be the "mysterious new kid," to ancient beings asking him to be a chosen one every other day. But a fated encounter with the captain of the football team makes him realized that he is not the only one cursed with being a bad boy. There are others like him. Alone, they are weak. Together, they are strong. Sort of. With the mission to finding others cursed with being bad boys, Ayden and his new friends will work together to make a school club where they can help each other avoid the trappings of cliche and finish the school year unscathed. That is, if they can convince the student council president to let them form the club in the first place. [SEASON 1 COMPLETED] [SEASON 2 COMPLETED] [SEASON 3 COMPLETED] Cover by @Feralshadow

In this Divergent parody, Tris is representing the House of Abercrombie, one of the four leading fashion houses to win the chance to dictate the look for the season. However, the game changes the rules when it becomes a battle to the death in competition that includes a dangerous maze and a Hunger Games inspired challenge. Will the odds be forever in her favor?